EVERYDAY 

MANNERS 


LIBRARY 

Connecticut  Agricultural  College 


Vol.      1  o  031 

Class  No.         ?  "?  iT 

(^55 

Cost          /  OJ 

Date             %UcuuJL  I  J. 

1917 

BOOK    395. P53    c   1 


!<>';.'   i^/^. 


'k  may  be  kept  out 


EVERYDAY  MANNERS 


THE  MACMILLAN  COMPANY 

NEW  YORK   •    BOSTON   •    CHICAGO 
DALLAS   •    ATLANTA   •    SAN  FRANCISCO 

MACMILLAN  &  CO.,  Limited 

LONDON   •    BOMBAY   •    CALCUTTA 
MELBOURNE 

THE  MACMILLAN  CO.  OF  CANADA,  Ltd. 

TORONTO 


EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

for 
AMERICAN  BOYS  AND  GIRLS 


for  -CS 

f5 


BY  THE 

FACULTY  OF  THE  SOUTH  PHILADELPHIA 
HIGH  SCHOOL  FOR  GIRLS 


ILLUSTRATED  BY 
ETHEL   C    TAYLOR 


iBtehj  got* 

THE  MACMILLAN  COMPANY 

1926 


COPTRIGHT,    1922, 

bt  the  macmillan  company. 


Set  up  and  electrotyped.     Published  April,  1922.    Reprinted 
June,  1922 ;  September  6, 1922  ;  September  15, 1922;  December, 
1922;  April  5,  1923;  April  21,  1923;  September,  1923; 
January,  May,  1926. 


1003J 


PRINTED  IN  THE  UNITED  STATES  OF  AMERICA 
BY   BERWICK   &  SMITH  CO. 


I  find  increasing  numbers  of  men  and  women 
whose  America  seems  to  be  the  same  as  mine. 
.  .  .  But  it  is  true  no  less  that  there  are  many- 
Americas  today   .   .   . 

In  the  infancy  of  our  adventure,  America  is  a 
mystic  word.  We  go  forth  all  to  seek  America, 
and  in  the  seeking  we  create  her.  In  the  quaUty 
of  the  search  shall  be  the  America  that  we  create. 

— Waldo  Frank. 

If  manners  make  the  man,  manners  are  the 
woman  herself;  because  with  her  they  are  the 
outward  and  visible  token  of  her  inward  and 
spiritual  grace,  or  disgrace,  and  flow  instinc- 
tively, whether  good  or  bad,  from  the  instincts 
of  her  inner  nature   .   .   . 

For  my  part,  I  should  hke  to  make  every  man, 
woman,  and  child  whom  I  meet,  discontented  with 
themselves,  even  as  I  am  discontented  with  my- 
self. I  should  hke  to  awaken  in  them  that 
divine  discontent  which  is  the  parent,  first  of 
upward  aspiration,  and  then  of  self-control, 
thought,  effort  to  fulfil  that  aspiration,  even  in 
part. 

— Charles  Kingsley. 


THE  EVOLUTION  OF  THE  BOOK 

There  was  to  be  a  parents'  reception  given  by  the 
Freshman  Class  and  the  teachers  of  EngHsh  were  asked 
to  see  that  the  young  people  not  only  wrote  invitations 
to  their  parents,  but  that  they  knew  how  to  meet  the 
other  social  obHgations  of  the  occasion.  Therefore,  in- 
vitations were  discussed  and  practiced,  along  with  bits 
of  conversation  to  '^keep  any  one  from  feehng  em- 
barrassed.'^ Interest  spread  like  wildfire.  Even  Seniors 
asked  why  they  weren't  being  ''taught  manners"  like 
the  Freshmen. 

It  was  a  short  step  then  to  the  conviction  that  our 
pupils  really  wanted  suggestions  as  to  conduct  on  special 
and  other  occasions.  When  we  began  by  letting  them 
discuss  what  to  do  at  a  dance,  we  could  not  have 
stopped  had  we  wished  to  do  so. 

A  committee  was  formed  and  a  manual  of  manners 
compiled.  A  second  committee  undertook  to  plan  how 
to  get  it  across  to  the  school;  and  dramatizations, 
shadowgraphs,  and  discussions  followed.  The  possi- 
bihties  of  arousing  real  enthusiasm  and  interest  were 
apparent.  Another  committee  undertook  to  amplify 
the  manual,  and  Everyday  Manners  is  the  result.  The 
evolution  of  the  book  is  obviously  a  logical  and  normal 
story  of  supply  and  demand. 

vii 


viii      THE  EVOLUTION  OF  THE  BOOK 

The  members  of  the  original  Manners  Committee 
were — 

Katherine  G.  Carpenter,  Chairman 

Amelie  Beaudoux 

OHve  Ely  Hart 

Florence  M.  Lippincott 

Helen  M.  Price 

Minnie  E.  Schweiker 

Ruth  Wanger 

Dorothy  Wetherald 

Helen  D.  M.  White 
The  name  of  each  teacher  who  wrote  even  a  portion 
of  any  chapter  has  been  added  to  the  table  of  contents. 
It  must  be  acknowledged,  however,  that  this  Httle  book 
is  an  example  of  very  real  cooperation,  and  that 
many  have  helped  in  its  compilation  whose  names  are 
not  recorded. 

Grateful  acknowledgment  is  here  made  of  the  splen- 
did work  of  my  fellow  editors,  Ruth  Wanger  and 
Olive  Ely  Hart. 

Lucy  L.  W.  Wilson 

South  Philadelphia  High  School  for  Girls 
Philadelphia,  September,  1921. 


TABLE  OF  CONTENTS 


FOREWORD Lucy  L.  W.  Wilson 

PART  ONE.     AT  HOME 


CHAFTEB 

I. 

II. 

III. 

IV. 

V. 

VI. 

VII. 

VIII. 

IX. 

X. 

XI. 

XII. 

XJII. 


XIV. 
XV. 

XVI. 

XVIL 

XVIII. 

XIX. 


Table  Manners    .... 
Manners  in  the  Family 
Introductions       .... 
Manners  with  Older  People 

— AND  Some  Other  Matters 
At  the  Telephone  {See  also 

Business  Manners) 
In  Regard  to  Private  Prop- 


erty     

Having  a  Guest   .     .     .     . 

Being  a  Guest      .     .     .     . 

Invitations    and    Refresh- 
ments        

Entertainment     .     .     .     . 

Dress 

Girls  and  Boys    .     .     .     . 

Gifts 


Ruth  W anger 
Ruth  W anger      . 
Ruth  Wanger 

Ruth  Wanger 

Ruth  Wanger 

Julia  K.  Nusbaum 
Mary  Moriarty  . 
Mary  Moriarty  . 

Ruth  Wanger 
Ruth  Wanger 
Janet  Baird  . 
Beatrice  H.  Ryers 
Olive  Ely  Hart    . 


PART  TWO.     IN  SCHOOL 


Assembly  Manners    . 
In  the  Corridors 
Classroom  Manners 
Lunch  Room  Manners 
Student  Government 
Manners  in  Games    . 
ix 


Amelie  Beaudoux  . 
Minnie  E.  Schweiker 
Mildred  D.  Williams 
Minnie  E.  Schweiker 
Ruth  Wanger  .  . 
Ruth  Wanger 


1 
14 
18 

23 

26 

28 
31 
34 

38 
41 
45 
52 
59 


65 

68 
71 
75 

77 
78 


X  TABLE  OF   CONTENTS 

PART  THREE.     IN  PUBLIC  PLACES 

CHAPTER  PAGE 

XX.   In  Trolley  Cars  and  on  the 

Street Margaret  Patchell     .     83 

XXI.  In   Stations,    Dining    Cars, 

AND  Restaurants    .      .      .     Florence  Lippincott  .     90 
XXII.   In    Stores    and    Places    of 

Amusement Caroline  W.  Thome      93 

PART  FOUR.     IN  BUSINESS 

XXIII.  Business  Manners     .     .      .     Helen  D.  M.  White  .     99 

PART  FIVE.    A  LAST  WORD 

XXIV.  A  Last  Word Ruth  Wanger      .     .  109 


FOREWORD 

Mabel  and  Edwin  were  talking  of  their  cousin, 
Roger,  who  had  just  come  to  their  home  town  to  live. 
They  had  entertained  him  several  times,  and  he  had 
taken  them  out  in  his  car.  He  seemed  to  have  no 
other  friends,  and  the  brother  and  sister  were  speaking 
of  his  loneliness. 

'Td  like  to  do  what  I  can  for  him,'^  said  Edwin. 
^^He  would  enjoy  meeting  my  friends,  I  am  sure;  but 
his  manners  are  so  awful  that  I  don't  feel  that  I  can 
take  him  to  their  homes.'' 

^'Yes,  I  know,"  Mabel  answered;  ^Ho  see  him  eat 
you  would  think  him  haK  civilized.  He  puts  his  face 
away  down  close  to  his  plate,  and  shovels  in  his  food. 
It's  disgusting." 

^'Yes,  and  he  is  so  critical,"  went  on  Edwin.  ^^He 
picks  to  pieces  everything  people  do,  as  though  he 
were  perfect." 

'^It's  his  idea  of  making  conversation,"  said  Mabel. 
"He  simply  doesn't  know  how  to  be  courteous  and 
pleasant,  though  dear  knows,  he's  old  enough.  Why, 
when  one  of  my  friends  came  to  the  porch  last  night 
when  he  was  here,  he  didn't  even  know  enough  to  get 
a  chair  for  her,  —  let  her  drag  it  up  herself.  She's  not 
keen  to  see  him  again,  you  may  be  sure." 


xii  FOREWORD 

"The  point  is/'  Edwin  said  seriously,  ^'can  we  do 
anything  about  it?  Shall  we  tell  him,  or  shall  we 
let  him  go  his  own  way?'' 


How  many  of  us  are  talked  over  in  the  same  way? 
How  many  of  us  would  like  to  know  how  to  be  courteous 
and  pleasant,  yet  do  not  know  how  to  do  just  the  right 
thing  at  the  right  time?  Agonies  of  embarrassment, 
lonely  evenings,  wretched  moments  of  indecision,  snubs 
from  acquaintances,  might  be  avoided  if  only  we  had 
the  key  to  each  situation. 

In  this  little  book,  we  try  to  give  you  the  key.  But 
remember,  the  key  does  not  fit  the  lock  unless  the  hand 
that  holds  it  is  steadied  by  a  sincere  and  kindly  interest 
in  others.  Forms  of  courtesy  are  empty  ceremonies 
unless  prompted  by  really  sympathetic  and  friendly 
feehng.  We  can  give  you  the  key.  You  yourself 
must  guide  it  aright. 

Turn  to  the  Table  of  Contents.  It  is  not  necessary 
to  begin  at  the  beginning.  Are  you  more  interested 
in  some  other  chapter  than  in  the  one  on  table  manners? 
Very  well;  let  us  read  that  one  first. 


PART  ONE 

AT  HOME 


EVERYDAY  MANNERS 


CHAPTER  I 
Table  Manners 


"The  Goops  they  lick  their  fingers, 

And  the  Goops  they  Uck  their  knives; 
They  spill  their  broth  on  the  tablecloth  — 

Oh,  they  lead  disgusting  lives! 
The  Goops  they  talk  while  eating, 

And  loud  and  fast  they  chew; 
And  that  is  why  I'm  glad  that  I 

Am  not  a  Goop  —  are  you?  " 

DoN^T  be  a  Goop ! 

Which  of  your  friends  have  good  manners  at  the 
table? 

What  pleases  you  most  in  their  manners?  Is  it  the 
way  in  which  they  handle  their  food?  Their  positions 
at  the  table?    Their  conversation  at  the  table? 

Eating  is  not  a  very  attractive  process,  but  in  these 
busy  days,  meal  time  affords  one  of  the  few  opportuni- 
ties we  have  for  meeting  and  greeting  our  friends.  For 
that  reason,  the  unattractive  part  of  eating  should  be 
made  as  inconspicuous  as  possible,  so  that  the  social 
part  of  the  meal  can  be  emphasized.  If  you  handle 
your  silver  and  consume  your  food  just  as  your  neigh- 
bors do,  your  manner  of  eating  is  unnoticed,  and  you 
can  dine  without  embarrassment  and  be  welcome  at  any 

1 


2  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

table.  If,  however,  your  table  manners  are  unusual  and 
peculiar,  you  at  once  become  conspicuous;  you  embar- 
rass your  hostess;  and  your  peculiarities  may  be  so  re- 
volting as  to  take  away  the  appetite  and  upset  the  con- 
versation of  others  at  the  table.  This  being  the  case, 
you  find  yourself  unwelcome,  perhaps  ignored  and 
laughed  at,  because  of  your  clumsy  and  unpleasant 
maneuvers.  Consequently,  it  is  necessary  to  know 
and  to  follow  the  customs  that  have  been  accepted  by 
those  who  have  learned  best  how  to  be  agreeable  to, 
and  considerate  of,  their  fellow  men. 

First  of  all,  be  prompt  at  your  meals.  It  is  very 
trying  to  the  person  who  planned  the  meal  to  have 
people  come  in  late.  If  there  are  guests,  allow  them  to 
enter  first,  and  in  any  case,  if  those  partaking  of  the 
meal  come  from  the  same  room,  the  men  and  boys 
stand  aside  for  the  women  to  pass  first,  except  when 
arrangement  has  been  made  for  people  to  enter  with 
partners.  At  the  table,  remain  standing  until  all  have 
arrived,  or  until  the  mother,  or  the  hostess,  or  whoever 
is  at  the  head  of  the  table,  gives  the  signal  for  sitting. 
It  is  a  pleasant  courtesy  for  a  man  to  pull  back  the 
chair  of  the  woman  next  to  him,  and  then  push  it  in 
toward  the  table  for  her  as  she  sits  down. 

Do  not  begin  to  eat  until  all  have  been  served. 

The  silver  at  your  place  is  usually  arranged  in  the 
order  in  which  you  will  use  it  —  beginning  at  the  outside. 
If  soup  is  served,  fill  your  spoon  away  from  you,  al- 
ways, not  toward  you.    If  this  rule  is  observed,  there 


TABLE   MANNERS  3 

is  less  danger  of  letting  drops  fall  on  the  tablecloth  or 
on  your  clothes.     Soup  should  always  be  eaten  from 

the  side  of  the  spoon,  never  from 

.1       e       j_      rr  j.'  1        It  is  casv  to  know 

the  front.     If   you   notice  people     u^hich  fork";  begin 

while  they  eat,  you  can  see  how     ^^  the  outside. 

much  less  awkward  it  is  to  eat  from 

the  side  than  to  push  your  spoon  straight  into  your 

mouth,  as  though  you  meant  to  swallow  it.     See  that 


"Eat  at  your  table  as  you  would  eat  at  the  table  of  a  Idng," 

you  put  the  soup  into  your  mouth  quietly.  Never 
suck  it  from  the  spoon  with  a  noise;  a  noisy  soup  eater 
is  most  distressing  to  his  neighbors.  When  you  put 
down  your  spoon,  if  soup  plates  are  used,  leave  the 
spoon  in  the  plate.  If  bouillon  cups  are  used  instead, 
never  leave  the  spoon  in  the  cup,  but  put  it  in  the 
saucer. 

AVhen  fish  is  served,  it  is  eaten  by  means  of  the  fork 
only,  except  in  those  rather  rare  cases  where  a  fish  knife 
is  provided.     Fish  bones  may  be  removed  from  the 


4  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

mouth  by  means  of  the  fork,  or  by  the  fingers.  Often 
the  latter  method  is  a  safer  way  of  getting  the  bones  to 
your  plate.  You  should,  as  far  as  possible,  avoid  taking 
the  bones  into  your  mouth ;  and,  when  removing  any, 
should  shield  your  mouth  with  your  napkin. 

When  the  main  course  is  served,  you  may  be  asked 
your  preference  in  regard  to  the  cuts  of  meat.    If  so,  and 

if  you  have  a  preference,  express 
You  won't  starve  if         •.      rr  x      i     j   ^  i         i_   x 

you  help  the  other  ]^'  ^^  ^^^  ^'^  ^^^  ^^^^^^  ^^^^  ^^^^^^ 
fellow  first.  ^^  served  you  without  comment.    If 

the  vegetables  are  placed  on  the 
table,  help  to  pass  them.  If  the  table  is  set  correctly, 
you  will  always  find  a  tablespoon  beside  the  vegetable 
dish,  and  it  is  your  part  in  picking  up  the  dish,  to  put 
the  spoon  into  it,  and  pass  the  dish  to  your  neighbor. 
In  case  your  neighbor  is  occupied,  it  may  be  more  con- 
venient and  less  conspicuous  to  help  yourself  first. 
Never  reach  across  the  table  or  in  front  of  a  person  for 
anything  you  desire,  but  ask  the  person  nearest  to  pass 
the  article.  Try  to  anticipate  the  needs  of  your  guests, 
so  as  to  offer  them  what  they  need  before  they  are 
obliged  to  ask.  Always  take  bread  with  your  fingers, 
never  with  your  fork.  The  same  is  true  of  olives  or 
radishes,  or  any  food  which  is  not  provided  with  its 
own  spoon  or  fork.  Such  dishes  are  ordinarily  those 
that  contain  food  which  you  eat  from  your  fingers. 
Always  use  the  butter  knife  provided  to  help  yourself 
to  butter.  It  is  exceedingly  bad  form  to  help  yourself 
from  any  dish  with  your  own  individual  silver. 


TABLE   MANNERS  5 

In  cutting  your  meat,  be  careful  not  to  hold  your 

knife  and  fork  as  weapons.    The  knife  should  be  held 

easily  in  the  right  hand,  with  the 

en  •  1  xT_     T_     1       Remember  you  are 

forefinger  running  along  the  back  .^  . 

of  the  blade  near  the  handle.  The 
fork,  in  the  left  hand,  should  be  held  with  the  prongs 
down,  and  the  forefinger  extended  along  the  handle. 
Keep  your  arms  close  to  your  sides  —  never  with  the 
elbows  out.  The  latter  position  produces  an  awkward 
appearance  and  frequently  causes  real  annoyance  and 
inconvenience  to  your  neighbors.  Never  cut  more  than 
one  mouthful  of  meat  at  a  time.  It  is  decidedly  out  of 
place  to  cut  up  all  of  your  meat  at  once.  When  you 
have  cut  off  a  small  piece,  the  general  rule  is  to  rest 
your  knife  across  your  plate,  transfer  your  fork  to  your 
right  hand,  with  the  prongs  up,  and  so  pick  up  and  eat 
with  your  fork  what  has  been  cut.  (It  is  permissible, 
however,  to  keep  the  fork  in  the  left  hand,  prongs 
down,  and  so  eat  your  meat.  This  method  prevails  in 
England.)  Vegetables  should  be  eaten  with  the  fork 
whenever  possible.  If  a  vegetable  is  served  in  liquid  or 
nearly  liquid  form,  it  may  be  eaten 
with  a  spoon.  When  not  in  use.  It  is  only  babies 
,,  1111         11  1    i         who  need  spoons  for 

the   spoon  should   be   allowed   to     ^jj  ^j^^j^.  ^^^^ 

rest  in  the  dish  with  which  it  be- 
longs.   It  should  never  be  put  back  on  the  tablecloth. 
Just  so,  with  the  knife  and  fork;   after  they  have  been 
picked  up,  they  should  never  rest  anywhere  but  on  the 
plate.    They  should  not  be  put  back  on  the  tablecloth, 


6  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

or  allowed  to  lean  against  the  plate.  For  one  thing, 
they  are  no  longer  perfectly  clean,  and  it  is  unsanitary 
to  spread  the  germs  from  your  hands  and  mouth  to  the 
tablecloth.  Moreover,  leaning  them  against  your  plate 
puts  them  in  your  way,  and  is  likely  to  cause  accidents. 
In  passing  your  plate  for  a  second  helping,  leave  your 
knife  and  fork  side  by  side  on  your  plate  —  do  not 
remove  them.  When  you  have  finished,  put  your  knife 
and  fork  in  this  same  position. 

Never  spread  a  whole  piece  of  bread  at  one  time  at 
the  table.  Break  the  piece  in  halves,  and  if  one  half 
is  more  than  two  or  three  small  mouthfuls,  break  it 
again,  and  spread  just  one  little  piece  at  a  time.  If  a 
bread  and  butter  plate  is  provided,  your  bread,  of 
course,  belongs  there.  If  none  is  provided,  rest  your 
bread  on  your  dinner  plate,  if  possible.  If  that  is 
too  crowded,  all  but  the  piece  you  have  buttered  may 
rest  on  the  tablecloth.  The  buttered  piece  must  rest 
on  your  plate. 

At  one  time  it  was  considered  good  form  to  leave  a 
little  food  on  the  plate.  Our  lessons  in  thrift  during  the 
Of  course,  Jack  wsly,  however,  taught  us  that  it  is 

Spratt  was  allowed  better  to  take  no  more  than  we 
to  lick  the  platter  want,  and  then  to  eat  what  is  set 

^^®^^-  before  us,  simply  avoiding  any  im- 

pression of  scraping  the  plate.  A  hostess  is  more  flat- 
tered by  a  normally  good  appetite  than  by  one  which 
is  too  dainty.  The  latter  makes  her  feel  that  you  do 
not  like  her  food. 


TABLE   MANNERS  7 

As  coffee  is  often  served  with  the  main  course,  we 
may  consider  it  here.  Be  careful,  in  helping  yourself 
to  sugar,  to  use  the  spoon  provided  —  never  your  own 
spoon.  Your  spoon  may  be  used  in  tasting  your  coffee 
and  to  stir  it,  but  any  stirring  should  be  done  very  lightly 
and  noiselessly.  When  the  coffee  is  satisfactory  to  your 
taste,  the  spoon  should  rest  in  the  saucer.  It  must 
never  be  left  in  the  cup.  It  looks  awkward  if  left  there, 
and  may  lead  to  the  upsetting  of  your  cup.  Always 
drink  from  your  cup  —  never  from  your  saucer  —  and 
never  pour  your  coffee  into  your  saucer  to  cool  it. 
Never  blow  on  it  to  cool  it.  If  it  is  too  hot,  allow  it 
to  stand  in  the  cup  until  it  becomes  cool  enough 
to  drink. 

The  salad  course  is  often  a  problem.    It  is  a  general 

rule  in  this  country  that  the  fork  alone  shall  be  used  in 

eating  salad.    Lettuce  and  other  foods  used  in  a  salad 

can  ordinarily  be  divided  by  means    r  ^^-  ^r  .   .    ^ 

-^  1     •    /       -     «.    Is  this  your  Waterloo? 

01  a  fork,  and  the  rule  is  to  cut  on 

with  your  fork  just  as  much  as  you  wish  to  take  in 

your  mouth  at  one  time.     Be  careful  never  to  let  the 

fork  rest  anywhere  but  on  the  salad  plate. 

Desserts  must  be  handled  according  to  their  kind. 

Ice  cream  is  eaten  with  a  spoon  unless  an  ice  cream  fork 

is  provided.     Pie  is  eaten  with  a 

r     1  -1  rx       1  Don't  suck  your 

fork,  as  is  also  very  soft  cake,  or  f  t    f  • 

a  piece  of  watermelon.    Most  other    cream     Eat  it. 

desserts  are  eaten  with  a  spoon.    If 

the  dessert  is  served  in  a  cup  or  high  standing  dish, 


8  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

with  a  plate  under  it,  the  spoon  should  be  allowed  to 
rest  on  the  plate  rather  than  in  the  dish. 

It  is  customary,  when  the  meal  consists  of  more 
than  one  course,  to  remove  the  soiled  dishes  before  the 
new  course  is  served,  as  broken  food  and  soiled  plates 
are  not  an  appetizing  sight.  Never  stack  your  dishes 
in  front  of  you.  Leave  them  as  they  are  when  you 
finish  eating,  and  let  your  hostess  remove  them  or  have 
them  removed  to  suit  herself.  If  you  are  the  hostess, 
remove  the  dishes  quietly,  taking  at  one  time  only 
what  you  can  carry  in  your  two  hands  without  stacking 
or  piling. 

There  are  a  few  general  rules  that  have  been  omitted, 

and  that  are  most  important.    One  is,  never  to  pick  up 

a  dish  from  the  table  and  hold  it  while  you  eat.     The 

dishes  belong  on  the  table,  and  if  you  are  too  lazy  to 

carry  the  food  from  the  table  to  your  mouth,  or  too 

careless  to  get  it  there  safely,  you  should  eat  in  private, 

rather  than  with  other  people. 
If  you  must  play,  ^^^.^^    pl^y    ^.j^j^    y^^^.    g-j^.^j, 

your  hostess  will  ex-     ^.t  t  i  -i  it 

,        ,-  Never    lick    your    silver  —  kmfe, 

cuse  you  from  the  ^  ' 

table.  lork,    or   spoon;    also,    never   lick 

your  fingers. 
Many  people  have  formed  the  habit  of  resting  on  the 
left  arm  while  they  feed  themselves  with  the  right. 
This  is  distinctly  discourteous.  You  would  not  think 
of  lying  down  while  a  friend  called  on  you,  or  while  you 
called  on  her.  It  is  just  as  bad  to  recline  while  eating 
and  denotes  laziness  and  disregard  of  those  present- 


TABLE   MANNERS  9 

Between  courses,  while  talking,  it  is  sometimes  permis- 
sible to  rest  the  elbows  on  the  table;  but  one  should  never 
sprawl. 

Never  come  to  the  table  untidily  or  slovenly  dressed. 
No  one's  appetite  is  improved  by  looking  at  hair 
curlers,  suspenders,  and  soiled  shirtwaists  or  shirts. 
See  that  your  face,  hands,  and  nails  are  clean,  and 
that  your  clothes  are  not  only  clean,  but  neat. 

Never  smack  your  lips  over  your  food.  Your  lips 
should  be  kept  closed  while  you  are  chewing  your  food. 
Never  pick  your  teeth  at  the  table,  or  in  public.  A 
toothpick  may  be  used  in  your  own  room,  if  necessary. 

The   conversation   at   the   table   should   always   be 

pleasant,  and  of  a  kind  in  which  all  may  take  part.    If 

disagreeable  things  must  be  said,     ^    ,, ,         ,       , 
•4.        ^-1  ^u  1-  4-1.1      Don't  be  a  gloom  I 

wait  until  the  meal  is  over,  so  that 

no  one's  appetite  will  be  ruined.  Be  very  sure,  too,  to 
avoid  speaking  of  subjects  which  call  up  unpleasant 
pictures.  It  is  never  permissible  to  discuss  a  surgical 
operation,  or  a  bad  illness,  or  death,  or  to  describe  filth, 
or  mention  vermin,  while  at  the  table.  The  pleasant  est 
part  of  a  meal  should  be  the  conversation.  Pleasant 
talk  aids  digestion  and  makes  the  food  more  palatable. 
A  hostess's  luncheon  or  dinner  is  remembered  rather 
for  the  conversation  indulged  in,  than  for  the  excellence 
of  her  food.  Be  careful  not  to  monopolize  the  conver- 
sation. There  are  usually  others  at  the  table  as  inter- 
esting as,  or  more  interesting  than,  you.  You  should 
show  especial  care  in  this  respect  when  older  people  are 


10  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

present.  In  the  latter  case,  it  is  your  place  to  stay  in 
the  background  unless  there  is  a  distinct  need  or  call  for 
your  conversation.  Never,  by  any  chance,  talk  when 
your  mouth  is  full.  If  you  eat  slowly,  taking  small 
bites,  you  will  seldom  be  caught  at  a  disadvantage. 
However,  if  addressed  when  your  mouth  is  full,  let  the 
person  who  has  addressed  you  await  your  answer.  Do 
not  risk  the  embarrassment  and  the  possible  disaster 
resultant  from  an  immediate  reply. 

Never  read  at  the  table  unless  you  are  the  only  one 
there. 

If  an  accident  occurs  at  the  table,  if  you  drop  your 

spoon,  or  upset  your  cup,  the  misfortune  is  bad  enough. 

.    . ,     ,      .„  ,  Do  not  make  it  worse  by  calling 

Accidents  will  happen.      ,^      ,.         ^       -.     -,     ,  i       , i 

attention   to   it,  but   remedy   the 

difficulty  as  quietly  as  possible.  If  you  need  the  spoon 
you  have  dropped,  and  your  hostess  does  not  notice  your 
difficulty  and  supply  another,  the  only  thing  left  for 
you  to  do  is  to  pick  it  up  and  wipe  it  on  your  napkin. 
If  you  upset  your  cup,  repair  the  difficulty  as  best  you 
can  with  your  napkin.  Remember  that  your  embarrass- 
ment spoils  the  enjoyment  of  those  present;  so  remedy 
the  difficulty  quickly  and  lead  the  conversation  away 
from  the  accident. 

Remember  that  if  you  have  a  bad  cold,  you  are  an 
unpleasant  table  companion,  and  be  as  inconspicuous 

^,     ^  .      ,,        as  possible.     If  it  is  necessary  to 

The  danger  signal!  ,      ^  i        i        •  i  i 

cough,  turn  your  head  aside  and 

cover  your  mouth  with  your  handkerchief.     For  pro- 


TABLE   MANNERS  11 

longed  coughing,  leave  the  table.  If  you  find  it  neces- 
sary to  blow  3^our  nose,  ask  to  be  excused  from  the  table, 
and  return  as  soon  as  possible. 

Remain  seated  until  all  have  finished,  unless  this  is 
absolutely  impossible.  It  is  the  place  of  the  hostess, 
or  person  at  the  head  of  the  table,  to  give  the  signal 
for  rising.  If  you  have  an  important  engagement,  you 
may  excuse  yourself  quietly  before  the  others  are  ready 
to  leave.  In  your  own  home,  or  where  you  are  a  guest 
for  more  than  one  meal,  fold  your  napkin  and  leave  it 
beside  your  plate.  When  you  are  a  guest  for  only  one 
meal,  it  is  unnecessary  to  fold  your  napkin. 

In  passing  out  of  the  room,  men  let  women  go  first. 

Knowing  the  right  thing  to  do  is  very  different  from 
being  able  to  do  it  when  the  need  arises.  Good  table 
manners  come  only  from  continual  practice  of  the  right 
w^ay  of  doing  things.  In  our  own  homes  is  the  right 
place  to  learn,  by  carefully  observing  good  form  at 
every  meal.  This  not  only  prepares  us  for  emergencies, 
but  enables  us  to  show  to  our  families  the  respect  we 
should  feel  for  them. 

'^If  you  always  eat  as  if  in  the  presence  of  the  King, 
you  will  have  no  need  to  blush  should  the  King  summon 
you  to  meat." 

problems:  who  will  solve  them? 

1.  How  shall  we  interest  all  the  children  in  the  school  in  good 
table  manners? 

A  play  at  Assembly,  did  you  say?  Suppose  that  we  try  it  out 
here  in  the  classroom  first.    Let  us  look  over  the  chapter  again 


12  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

to  see  what  there  is  that  will  suggest  effective  and  interesting 
scenes. 

2.  What  characters  shall  we  need  and  how  shall  they  ap- 
pear? 

Yes,  your  plan  of  a  series  of  scenes,  beginning  with  the  gradual 
gathering  of  the  family,  one  child  coming  in  after  the  others  are 
seated,  is  good.  It  is  true  that  the  mother  may  be  able  to  praise 
one  and  quietly  correct  another  in  the  middle  of  an  otherwise  inter- 
esting conversation,  but  that  must  be  carefully  managed. 

3.  Who  can  suggest  anything  else? 

In  one  school,  instead  of  a  play,  the  children  arranged  a  shadow- 
graph. Probably  you  can  guess  what  that  means,  even  if  you  have 
never  seen  one.  A  table  with  two  children  at  dinner  was  set  up 
on  the  stage  behind  a  lantern  screen.  Of  course,  a  large  sheet 
might  have  been  used  as  a  screen.  The  room  was  darkened, 
but  as  much  light  as  possible  was  turned  on  behind  the  screen. 
The  children,  the  dishes,  and  the  table  looked  like  black  silhouettes, 
or  shadows.  A  third  child,  one  who  spoke  very  distinctly  and 
easily,  explained  to  the  audience  the  right  and  wrong  way  to  eat 
and  behave  at  the  table.  After  each  description,  the  shadows 
illustrated  in  action  what  she  had  described  in  words.  She  was 
careful  to  describe  the  good  way  twice,  first  and  last,  with  the 
wrong  way  between. 

4.  How  can  we  help  the  children  in  this  school  not  only  to  know 
good  table  manners  when  they  see  them,  but  also  to  form  the  habit 
of  good  table  manners,  so  that  finally  they  do  not  even  think  about 
them,  and  yet  always  practice  them? 

Manners,  like  swimming  or  any  other  sport,  must  be  learned 
through   practice.     Just  to  understand  the  rules  is  not  enough. 

Why  not  try  to  break  a  bad  habit  by  substituting  a  good  habit 
for  it?  Keep  a  record  of  your  success  or  failure  each  day,  and 
report  upon  it  at  the  end  of  the  week.  Make  a  report  on  the  table 
manners  of  other  people,  particularly  if  you  are  fortunate  enough 
to  see  some  one  with  beautiful  manners. 


TABLE   MANNERS  13 

5.   Here  are  some  good  manners  slogans  that  you  may  remember 
while  at  the  table : 

Eat  at  your  table  as  you  would  eat  at  the  table  of  a  king. 

—  Confucius. 
Mend  your  manners! 
Manners  count! 
Eventually  good  manners;  why  not  now? 


CHAPTER  II 

Manners  in  the  Family 

'Twas  a  misty,  moisty  morning 
And  cloudy  was  the  weather, 
When  I  met  an  old  man 
All  clothed  in  leather. 

He  began  to  compliment, 

And  I  began  to  grin, 

"How  do  you  do,  and  how  do  you  do. 

And  how  do  you  do  again?" 


Always  start  the  day  with  a  pleasant  '^Good  morn- 
ing" to  those  you  meet.     This  includes  your  family. 
You  will  find  it  has  the  same  effect 

Ihin^'T'ImUe  ^''^"       ^'    ^^^^    described    in    the    rhyme 

above.    Even  if  the  weather  is  bad, 

and  one  feels  disagreeable,  a  pleasant  greeting  helps  to 

spread  cheer. 

14 


MANNERS  IN  THE  FAMILY  15 

There  are  people  who  think  that  courtesy  is  merely 
a  matter  of  form.  The  manners  of  such  people  are  not 
worth  much.  Sincere  good  manners  require  that  a 
person  be  helpful  and  kind  at  all  times,  which  means 
that  good  manners  are  closely  associated  with  one's 
daily  work.  If  you  would  cultivate  the  better  kind  of 
courtesy,  there  are  many  opportunities  to  do  so  in  your 
own  home  life. 

Boys,  never  let  your  mother  carry  coal,  beat  rugs,  or 

go  to  the  store  when  she  is  tired,  if  you  can  do  the  work 

for  her.     Show  your  appreciation     ^    ,^ ,         , .  , 

,     .         ,       ,.  ,        .       ,         Don^t  be  a  shirk, 
of  her  by  drying  the  dishes  m  the 

evening,  so  that  she  may  get  an  opportunity  to  rest. 


Help  your  mother  when  she  is  tired. 

Girls,  you  can  at  least  make  the  beds,  straighten  the 
living  room,  and,  in  the  evening,  wash  the  dishes  even 
if  you  are  attending  school.  On  Saturday  and  Sunday 
you  have  your  opportunity  to  learn  to  cook  and  clean 
and  to  give  your  mother  a  little  play  time. 

Sometimes  your  mother  wants  to  be  so  very  kind  to 


16  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

you  that  she  tells  you  you  need  not  help.  The  next 
time  she  does  it,  remember  your  manners  and  fall  to 
work.  Outsiders  judge  you  largely  by  the  way  you 
treat  your  mother. 

Do  not  impose  your  work  on  your  little  sisters  and 
brothers.     Always  do  more  than  they  do,  as  you  are 

bigger  than  they;   and  help  them 

Here's  where  age  ^      i,       +u  x-     j      a^ 

^    ^       ^  out  when  they  are  tired.    You  can 

comes  first.  *; 

never  expect  them  to  be  considerate 
if  you  do  not  set  a  good  example. 

Work  quickly  and  carefully  and  quietly.  If  you  put 
your  best  efforts  into  your  task,  you  will  find  yourself 
enjoying  it.  A  thorough  piece  of  work,  no  matter  what 
it  may  be,  is  always  a  great  satisfaction  to  the  doer. 
Aside  from  this,  you  should  endeavor  to  do  your  work 


Endeavor  to  do  your  work  cheerfully. 

cheerfully,  because  your  mother  is  very  little  benefited 
by  your  labor  if  you  are  cross  and  disagreeable.  Remem- 
ber too  that  the  skill  and  ease  with  which  you  accomplish 
the  small  home  tasks  are  the  best  possible  preparation 
for  the  big  tasks  you  will  meet  later  on. 


MANNERS  IN  THE  FAMILY  17 

Take  care  of  the  things  you  handle  while  you  are 

working  around  the  house.     Do  not  let  the  baby's  doll 

be  broken,  or  your  sister's  book  be 

mislaid.  Do  not  throw  into  the  waste     ,     course,  you  never 

.  ,  leave  your  thmgs 

paper  basket  the  composition  over     j^     about. 

which  your  brother  has  toiled  hard, 

even  though  he  has  left  it  very  untidily  on  the  table. 

Your  good  breeding  shows  nowhere   more   markedly 

than  in  the  care  you  take  of  the  things  other  people  value. 

Always  thank  a  member  of  your  family  for  any  favor 

as  graciously  as  you  would  an  outsider,  and  remember 

that  'Tlease"  is  a  helpful  word  anywhere.     Don't  say 

'' Thanks";    it   sounds   ungracious.     ''Many   thanks, 

Mother"  or  ''Thank  you,  Fred"  are  much  pleasanter 

expressions  of  appreciation. 


problems:  who  will  solve  them? 

1.  Suppose  that  a  child  has  never  formed  the  habit  of  greeting 
his  family  with  a  smiUng  "Good  morning!" — how  can  he  learn  to 
do  it?  What  may  make  it  difficult  at  first?  How  can  he  overcome 
this  difficulty? 

2.  Each  of  you  may  make  a  list  of  things  that  you  might  do  when 
you  go  home  to-day  that  would  help  your  mother.  How  can  you 
get  into  the  habit  of  helping  her  every  day? 

3.  What  do  you  think  of  beginning  now  a  manners  drive? 
You  must  do  the  planning  for  slogans,  posters,  scenes,  plays,  tags. 

These  all  help  to  arouse  interest  and  to  fix  facts.     Here  are  two 
suggestions  for  manners  slogans.  Can  you  add  others? 

Life  is  not  so  short  but  that  there  is  always  time  enough  for 
courtesy.  —  Emerson. 

Family  intimacy  should  never  make  brothers  and  sisters  forget 
to  be  polite  to  each  other.  —  Silvia  Pellico. 


CHAPTER  III 

Introductions 

If  your  mother  enters  the  living  room  while  you  have 

a  caller,  rise  quickly  and  introduce  your  guest.  ^ '  Mother, 

this  is  Anna  Smith,  a  classmate  of 

en  company  mine.     Anna,  this  is  my  mother." 

comes  I  rr^i        .  1       .  Ill         1 

The    mtroduction    would    be    the 

same  in  form  in  the  case  of  a  boy.  Ask  your  mother  if 
she  will  join  you,  offer  her  the  most  comfortable  chair, 
and  explain  to  her  what  you  and  your  friend  are  doing 
or  planning.  If  your  mother  feels  that  she  cannot  take 
part  in  your  occupation,  she  will  not  remain,  but  she 
will  be  pleased  to  know  that  you  want  her.  It  is  never 
your  place  to  indicate  that  there  is  no  room  for  her  in  your 
group.  Always  give  her  the  opportunity  to  decide 
whether  or  not  she  will  join  you.  Your  new  friends  can 
judge  very  quickly  whether  you  are  a  safe  person  to 
cultivate  by  your  manner  to  your  parents. 

Your  father  should  receive  the  same  courtesy. 
^'Father,  you  remember  Jack  Bolton,  don't  you?  Jack, 
you've  met  my  Dad  before." 

In  all  introductions  it  is  a  safe  rule  to  follow,  that  you 
present  young  people  to  older  people;  less  distinguished 
people  to  more  distinguished  people.  ''Miss  IIa5rvvard, 
may  I  introduce  (or  present)  my  chum,  Anna  Smith?" 
After  giving  the  introduction,  it  is  courteous  to  add  a 

18 


INTRODUCTIONS  19 

word  or  two  explaining  those  introduced  to  each  other, 

or  opening  a  topic  of  conversation  in  which  both  are 

interested.     '^Dr.   Radner,  this  is 

the  friend  who  hiked  to  New  York  ^^  P^°P^^  ^^^  ^^* 

...  1     ,  n     Tr  names  only,  it  would 

With  me  last  summer.      If  you  are  ,  ^  ^„^ 

^  be  easy. 

introducing  two  older  people  —  say 

a  teacher  and  your  mother  —  "Mother,  I  want  you  to 

know  Miss  Jones"  is  correct,  if  the  teacher  is  younger 

than  your  mother  and,  as  a  rule,  unless  you  feel  that 

the  teacher  is  entitled  to  even  greater  respect  than  your 

mother. 

A  man  is  always  presented  to  a  woman  and  a  boy  to 
a  girl — "Anna,  this  is  Jack  Bolton.  Jack,  this  is  Anna 
Smith." 

If  you  have  to  introduce  one  person  to  a  small  group, 
you  may  say :  "I  want  you  all  to  meet  my  friend,  Anna 
Smith  (or  Jack  Bolton)."  ''Anna  (or  Jack),  this  is 
Irma  Gaynor,  Harry  Bennett,"  and  so  on,  giving  each 
one  in  order  around  the  room  a  personal  introduction. 
If  a  person  arrives  late  at  a  gathering,  and  the  others 
are  already  engaged,  introduce  the  latecomer  only  to 
such  persons  as  are  not  disturbed  thereby,  waiting  until 
a  convenient  time  to  introduce  the  others. 

Never  command  an  introduction.  It  is  bad  form  to 
say,  "Meet  Mr.  Jones,"  or  "Shake  hands  with  Mr. 
Jones."  The  words  as  used  above  in  the  explanation 
are  satisfactory,  though  in  a  very  formal  introduction 
you  may  say,  "Mother,  may  I  present  Mr.  Jones?  Mr. 
Jones,  my  mother,  Mrs.  Brown." 


20  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

The  introduction  should  be  given  immediately.  It  is 
very  embarrassing  to  any  one  to  come  up  to  talk  to  you 
and  find  you  with  a  stranger  to  whom  you  do  not  at 
once  introduce  him.  It  suggests  that  for  some  reason 
you  do  not  want  these  two  people  to  meet.  Each  one 
may  secretly  feel — ^'  She  (or  he)  is  ashamed  to  know  me.'' 
Even  if  that  is  not  the  case,  the  conversation  will  very 
likely  be  stilted  and  halting  while  each  of  your  friends 
waits  for  you  to  perform  the  courtesy  you  have  overlooked. 

If  you  are  the  person  who  is  being  introduced,  there 
is  a  certain  courtesy  demanded  of  you.  Rise,  if  a  friend 
is  introducing  you  to  his  or  her  mother  or  father,  or  to 
any  older  person  and  remain  standing  until  the  older 
person  is  seated.  Do  not  offer  to  shake  hands  unless  they 
do,  but  be  ready  to  accept  their  overtures  of  friendliness. 
Say,  ''How  do  you  do,  Mrs.  Jones  (or  Mr.  Jones)?" 

Girls,  if  a  friend  is  introducing  you  to  his  or  her  sister, 

or  to  a  girl  whom  you  know  to  be  a  good  friend  of  his 

or  hers,  rise  and  offer  your  hand.     If  a  boy  is  being 

introduced  to  you,  you  need  not  rise  if  you  are  seated. 

If  you  wish  to  express  cordiality,  however,  you  may 

meet  him  halfway  by  extending  your  hand.    Boys,  rise, 

but  let  the  girl  take  the  initiative  about  shaking  hands 

and  be  ready  to  respond   to  her 
The  other  fellow  j-   i\l         rr  u   •       •    x 

,    ,  cordiality,     it  you  are  being  mtro- 

may  feel  worse  *^  \  ° 

about  it  than  you  do.     ^^^^^    ^^   another   boy,    or   other 
boys,  always  rise  and  shake  hands. 
Never  allow  any  feeling  of  awkwardness  to  keep  you 
from  doing  what  you  know  to  be  correct. 


INTRODUCTIONS  21 

Do  not  say  ^'Glad  to  meet  you."  By  its  flippancy, 
the  phrase  loses  any  real  meaning.  ^^How  do  you  do, 
Miss  Jones,  or  Mr.  Smith?"  is  sufficient.  To  repeat  the 
person's  name  in  this  fashion  not  only  helps  to  fasten  it  in 
your  mind,  but  shows  the  person  whom  you  are  meeting 
that  you  are  sufficiently  interested  to  listen  for  his  or 
her  name.  If  you  care  to,  you  may  then  add  something 
of  this  sort:  "I  have  been  hoping  to  meet  you;  Anna 
talks  so  much  of  you,"  or  ^^  I  am  very  glad  to  know  such 
a  good  friend  of  Anna's." 

If  an  introduction  seems  a  mere  formality  and  you  do 
not  expect  to  become  better  acquainted  with  the  person 
to  whom  you  are  introduced,  do  not  -p.  ,.  ,^ 
shake  hands,  merely  smile  and  say, 
''How  do  you  do?"  If  you  are  being  introduced  as  one 
of  a  group,  a  smile  and  bow  are  sufficient.  If  you  are 
being  introduced  to  a  group,  recognize  each  in  turn  by 
a  smile,  an  inclination  of  the  head,  and  if  possible  by 
a  repetition  of  the  name. 

If  a  friend  fails  to  introduce  you  to  some  one  in  a 
group,  you  yourself  must  rise  to  the  occasion.  In  a 
general  conversation,  join  in  and  talk  as  though  you 
had  been  introduced.  If  you  find  yourself  seated  near 
the  person  you  have  not  met,  you  might  say,  ''I  do  not 
believe  that  we  have  met.  I  am  Anna  Smith."  And 
the  other  should  at  once  introduce  herself  or  himself, 
''And  I  am  Jack  Bolton,  Miss  Smith." 

Another  method  of  introducing  yourself,  when  you 
know  who  the  person  is,  is  to  say,  "You  are  Jack 


22  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

Bolton,    aren't    you?      I    am    Clara's    friend,    Anna 
Smith."  

problems:  who  will  solve  them? 

1.  Charles  has  invited  two  other  boys  to  spend  the  evening  with 
him  developing  films.  His  mother  and  father  are  in  the  li\ing 
room  when  the  boys  arrive.  How  shall  Charles  introduce  his 
friends?     How  shall  he  suggest  their  going  to  his  room  to  work? 

2.  Irene  White  is  studying  her  lessons  with  two  friends,  Mary 
and  Kate,  when  her  mother  enters  the  room.  Mrs.  Wliite  has 
never  met  Kate.  How  shall  Mary  properly  greet  Mrs.  White? 
How  shall  Irene  introduce  Kate?  What  remarks  can  Irene's 
mother  and  Kate  exchange  that  will  relieve  the  embarrassment 
that  such  meetings  sometimes  cause? 

3.  Anna's  friend,  Mary,  from  another  town  is  visiting  her. 
Anna  has  invited  Dorothy,  George,  Henry,  and  Walter  to  spend 
the  evening.  Mary  does  not  know  any  of  the  four  guests. 
Plan  a  scene  in  which  Dorothy  and  two  of  the  boys  arrive  to- 
gether. See  that  proper  introductions  are  made  and  that  the  first 
ice  of  formality  is  broken.  The  third  boy  arrives  late.  See  that 
he  is  made  one  of  the  group  as  soon  as  possible. 

4.  Charles  meets  at  a  dance  a  girl  that  he  has  not  seen  for  some 
time.  She  introduces  to  him  two  or  three  boys  and  girls  who  are 
standing  with  her.  Plan  the  introductions,  and  let  Charles  ask 
one  of  the  girls  to  dance.    She  may  accept  or  refuse. 

5.  Plan  and  dramatize  other  such  scenes  as  will  give  you  a  chance 
to  practice  the  sort  of  introductions  that  you  think  you  may 
need  to  make.  Remember  that  only  by  practice  can  you  hope  to 
gain  ease  and  graciousness  in  meeting  social  requirements. 

6.  Add  other  slogans  to  these: 

The  greater  man  the  greater  courtesy.  —  Tennyson. 

Politeness  is  to  do  and  say 

The  kindest  thing  in  the  kindest  way. 


CHAPTER  IV 

Manners  with  Older  People  —  and  Some   Other 

Matters 

Rise  when  older  people  enter  the  room  and  see  that 
they  are  comfortably  seated  before  you  yourself  sit 
down.  In  offering  your  own  chair  to  some  one,  do  not 
stand  in  front  of  it  as  though  you  did  not  really  want 
it  taken,  but  push  it  a  bit  forward  invitingly  and  then 
move  away  to  show  that  your  offer  is  sincere. 

Be  especially  courteous  when  conversing  with  older 
people.  Never  interrupt  them,  and  if  asked  to  ex- 
press yourself,  do  so  with  modesty. 

A  n  1  Somebody  has  said  it 

A    really     clever     young    person    ,   ,  , 

knows  that  his  opinions  are  crude 
and  worth  little  beside  those  of  more  experienced 
men  and  women.  It  shows  stupidity  as  well  as  rudeness 
to  assert  yourself  loudly  and  perhaps  contradict  flatly 
what  older  people  have  said.  You  may  not  agree  with 
them,  but  listen  very  courteously  to  what  they  have 
to  say;  and,  if  asked  your  opinion,  give  it  very  simply 
and  deferentially. 

Notice  the  needs  of  older  people  and  be  quick  in 

meeting   them.    If   a   glove   or    a 

u  n      f  ^    ]    •      J  J  -r  The  exercise  is 

ball  01   worsted  is  dropped,  or  it  ,  , 

,1  good  for  you. 
some  one  mislays  his  or  her  glasses 

or  feels  a  draught  from  a  window,  pick  up  the  glove 

23 


24 


EVERYDAY  MANNERS 


or  ball,  find  the  glasses,  or  close  the  window  without 
waiting  to  be  asked. 

The  giving  of  such  attention  to  older  people  is  a  duty 
of  girls  as  well  as  of  boys.  Boys,  however,  should  be 
just  as  thoughtful  of,  and  give  the  same  attention  to, 
girls  as  to  older  people.     Girls  should  be  very  care- 


Be  quick  to  help  an  older  person. 

ful  always  to  express  appreciation  of  any  courtesy  that 
is  shown  them. 

Elsewhere,  as  in  the  dining  room,  do  not  monopolize 
conversation,  either  with  older  people  or  with  people  of 
your  own  age.  Remember  that 
conversation  is  an  interchange  of 
thoughts  and  ideas,  not  a  mono- 
logue. Courtesy  demands  an  interest  in  others.  If  you 
do  all  the  talking,  it  is  a  sure  sign  that  your  interest 
centers  in  yourself.  People  will  consider  you  ill- 
mannered,  and  worse,  —  a  bore. 

If  you  go  anywhere  with  a  group  of  people,  do  not 
jallow  one  person  to  monopolize  your  time  and  atten- 


Stop  for  breath 
now  and  then. 


MANNERS  WITH  OLDER  PEOPLE        25 

tion.  It  is  your  part,  as  a  member  of  the  group,  to  be 
pleasant  and  agreeable  to  all.  Only  selfish,  rude,  or 
socially  inexperienced  persons  will  disregard  this  sug- 
gestion. 

problems:  who  will  solve  them? 

1.  From  your  own  experience,  or  reading,  tell  a  story  that  will 
prove  that  boys  and  girls  need  to  be  reminded  of  just  such  points 
of  courtesy  as  are  suggested  in  this  chapter. 

2.  Can  you  add  other  slogans  to  this  one? 
Few  men  regret  the  things  they  have  not  said. 


CHAPTER  V 

At  the  Telephone 

There  are  certain  rules  that  should  govern  the  use  of 

the  telephone,  if  it  is  to 
be  a  convenience  and  an 
accommodation,  and  not 
a  nuisance. 

If  you  are  on  a  party 
line,  be  considerate  of 
other  people  on  your 
wire.  Remember  that 
their  selfishness  or  rude- 
ness does  not  excuse 
yours. 

Do  not  call  up  people 
more  frequently  or  keep 
them  at  the  telephone  longer  than  is  necessary  to  give 
or  get  necessary  information.    You  may  have  nothing 
to  do,  but  the  person  at  the  other 
How  you  would  feel     ^^^  ^^  extremely   busy,  yet 

if  you  could  see  the        ,  ,  ,  t^     •  i 

yawns  at  the  other        ^^^  courteous  to  say  so.     Besides, 
end  of  the  wire!  most  people  dislike  the  telephone 

for  social  calls.    It  is  a  lazy  and 
discourteous  way  of  being  friendly. 

Do  not  call  people  at  meal  time  or  late  at  night.    If 
you  know  the  time  most  convenient  for  calling  certain 

26 


AT  THE   TELEPHONE 


27 


people,  be  sure  you  call  them  at  that  time.  It  is  very 
trying  to  be  compelled  to  carry  on  a  telephone  conver- 
sation while  one's  dinner  grows  cold  or  to  get  out  of  bed 
to  answer  a  call  that  may  be  for  some  other  member  of 
the  family. 

Ask  distinctly  for  the  person  to  whom  you  wish  to 
speak.  Never  open  the  conversation  by  asking,  ''Who  is 
this?" 

If  you  are  called,  it  saves  time  when  you  answer  the 
telephone,  to  say  at  once,  ''This  is  Anna  Smith, '^  with- 
out saying  "Hello." 

Be  courteous  to  "Central." 


problems:  who  will  solve  them? 

1.  Dramatize  a  scene  suggested  by  any  paragraph  in  this  chapter. 

2.  Illustrate  from  your  own 
experience  the  common  sense  of 
any  one  of  the  rules  given 
above. 

3.  Write  a  list  of  telephone 
don'ts. 

4.  Make  this  your  telephone 
slogan: 

The  voice  with  a  smile  wins. 


CHAPTER  VI 
In  Regard  to  Private  Property 

From  the  earliest  stages  in  the  development  of  man 
the  idea  of  property  has  existed.  Every  one  wants 
things  that  he  can  call  his  very  own  and  he  wants  no 
one  to  violate  his  right  of  absolute  possession.  Thought- 
lessness frequently  leads  one  to  disregard  the  property 
rights  of  others. 

One's  mail  is  a  very  private  bit  of  property.  Fre- 
quently the  contents  of  a  letter  are  of  a  personal  char- 
acter not  intended  for  any  one  except  the  person  to 
whom  the  letter  is  addressed.  Even  if  you  are  positive 
that  this  is  not  the  case,  never  open  mail  that  is  not 
addressed  to  you.  One  is  often 
°  ,  .^  tempted  to  read  another's  mail  after 

it  has  been  opened.  It  is  not  only 
impolite  but  dishonest  to  do  this  unless  you  are  so 
requested  by  the  person  to  whom  it  was  sent. 

Keep  yourself  supplied  with  things  that  you  are 
likely  to  need.  Borrowing,  like  many  other  customs, 
quickly  develops  into  a  habit;  so  do  not  borrow  if  you 
can  possibly  avoid  it.  Many  people  do  not  like  to  lend 
at  all  and  no  one  wants  to  lend  except  in  an  emergency. 
Never  borrow  without  asking  permission.  No  matter 
how  trifling  the  thing,  the  act  is  equivalent  to  stealing 
if  it  is  done  secretly.    Ordinarily,  if  the  occasion  war- 

28 


IN  REGARD  TO  PRIVATE  PROPERTY   29 

rants  it,  people  are  willing  to  lend  books,  stationery, 
etc.,  if  these  are  asked  for  courteously  and  returned 
promptly.  Books  must  be  returned  in  as  good  condition 
as  when  borrowed.  If  possible,  return  the  same  kind 
of  stationery  that  you  borrowed. 
If  you  borrow  trolley  tickets,  or  f^gj^f^m  you  than 
stamps,  return  trolley  tickets  or  from  the  other  fellow, 
stamps,  rather  than  their  equiva- 
lent in  money.  It  is  sometimes  inconvenient  to  pur- 
chase such  articles,  so  that  if  any  one  is  kind  enough 
to  help  you  in  an  emergency,  be  sure  to  show  your 
appreciation  by  returning  the  same  kin.d  of  article  that 
was  borrowed.  Try  to  avoid  borrowing  money,  but  if 
this  is  necessary,  the  rule  as  to  a  prompt  and  full  return 
applies  here. 

There  are  some  articles  so  individual  and  personal  in 
character,  that  they  should  be  neither  borrowed  nor 
lent.  Such  are  hair  brushes,  combs,  hairpins,  and  pow- 
der puffs.  It  is  extremely  unhygienic  to  use  anything 
that  has  touched  another  person's 

hair  or  skin.     Skin  affections  are    ^^^  ff"^"  Y^,f  * 

^     .  ,  .,     ,       you,  if  you  don't 

very  contagious  and  can  easily  be    ^^^^^  ^^^j 

transmitted  by  the  exchange  of 
such  articles.  Very  frequently,  girls  are  tempted  either 
to  borrow  or  lend  a  powder  puff  or  a  comb.  Never  ask 
any  one  to  lend  you  hers  and,  although  you  may  dislike 
to  refuse  a  request  for  yours,  the  borrower  must  surely 
see  the  strength  of  your  argument  against  such  a  prac- 
tice. 


30  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

problems:  who  will  solve  them? 

1.  What  articles  do  boys  and  girls  in  school  borrow  one  from 
another?  What  can  your  teachers  do  to  help  you  to  break  up  this 
objectionable  practice? 

2.  Add  other  slogans  to  this  famous  one: 

Neither  a  borrower  nor  a  lender  he; 

For  loan  oft  loses  both  itself  and  friend.  —  Shakespeare. 


CHAPTER  VII 
Having  a  Guest 

The  success  of  any  hostess  is  measured  by  the  skill 
with  which  she  puts  her  guests  at  ease. 

Always  rise  to  greet  a  guest;  and  then,  after  seeing 
that  he  is  comfortably  seated,  turn  the  conversation  to 
things  of  interest  to  him,  making  your  own  interests 
subordinate. 

If  you  are  a  girl  and  your  caller  is  a  boy  who  has  a 

tendency  to  stay  late,   it  is  not  discourteous  to  tell 

him  that  your  parents  prefer  that  your  callers  should 

not    stay    after    ten    o'clock.     In  ,     , 

T_  ,  ,  HeM  rather  hear  it 

such   a   case,  however,   you  must  .  ^u     t 

,  '      ,  '    -^  ^  from  you  than  from 

take    care    to    be    courteous    and    Father! 
tactful  in  manner. 

If,  instead  of  a  caller,  you  are  entertaining  overnight 
guests,  there  are  certain  additional  things  you  must 
remember.  Take  the  guests  to  their  rooms  immedi- 
ately on  their  arrival  in  order  that  they  may  deposit 
wraps  and  luggage.  Since  every  thoughtful  visitor 
wishes  to  conform  to  the  ways  of  the  household,  it 
simplifies  matters  all  around  if  the  hostess  indicates 
such  things  as  the  time  of  retiring  and  the  time  of  break- 
fast and  other  meals. 

In  order  that  your  guest  may  be  perfectly  comfort- 
able, see  that  the  guest  room  is  supplied  with  clean 

31 


32  EVERYDAY  ^MANNERS 

towels;  the  bed,  with  absolutely  fresh  sheets  and  suit-» 
able  bedding.  It  is  thoughtful  to  supply  clothes  hangers 
and  other  accessories  that  add  to  the  comfort  of  the  guest. 
Because  one  who  is  entertaining  never  wishes  to  see 
a  guest  unhappy,  even  in  the  slightest  detail,  a  host  or 
hostess  will  take  care  not  to  dress  more  elaborately  than 
a  guest  can. 

Never  forget  your  guest.     If  other  friends  call,  do 

not  talk  about  things  of  which  your  guest  is  ignorant, 

unless  you  explain  the  circumstances 

gues  oug      0  ^^  j^.^       ^        -g      j^  means,  see 

have  a  good  time.  r  •      j  •    •     i    j   j  • 

that  your  friend  is  included  m  con- 
versation. At  a  party,  you  yourself  should  never  dance 
without  seeing  that  your  guest  is  provided  with  a  part- 
ner. Do  not  accept  any  invitations  during  the  \dsit  in 
which  he  or  she  is  not  included.  Do  not  allow  your 
other  friends  to  make  slighting  or  unkind  remarks  about 
your  visitor.  In  every  way,  you  must  subordinate  your 
interests  to  those  of  your  guest  while  you  are  a  host 
or  hostess. 

As  a  rule  the  guest  should  go  ahead  of  you  whenever 
you  are  entering  the  house  or  a  room,  except  that  a  boy 
should  not  precede  a  girl.  Your  guest  will  stand  aside, 
allowing  your  mother  or  other  older  people  to  precede. 

No  matter  how  thoughtless  or  exasperating  a  guest 

may  be,  continue  your  own  though tfulness  and  courtesy 

,^ ,    ,  ^  as  long  as  she  or  he  is  in  your  home. 

It  can't  last  forever.  ^  ^u   +  +i.     •      -.  .- 

Remember  that  the  invitation  was 

extended  by  you  or  for  you.    Never  forget  to  extend  to 


HAVING  A  GUEST  33 

the  guests  of  the  other  members  of  your  family  the  same 
courtesy  you  wish  shown  to  your  own. 

In  extending  an  invitation,  it  is  customary  to  state 
for  how  long  a  time  you  wish  your  friend  to  stay.  This 
saves  inconvenience  and  misunderstanding. 

Remember,  above  all,  that  unless  real  sincerity  un- 
derlies all  that  you  do  and  say  in  these  matters,  there  can 
be  no  real  courtesy, 

For  manners  are  not  idle,  but  the  fruit 
Of  loyal  nature  and  of  noble  mind. 


problems:   who  will  solve  them? 

1.  Write  a  letter  inviting  a  friend  to  stay  with  you  from  Saturday 
till  Mondaj^  Letters  may  be  read  and  discussed  for  the  purpose 
of  selecting  the  best. 

2.  You  may  use  this  for  a  slogan  if  you  will  remember  that  here 
•speed  does  not  mean  hurry: 

Welcome  the  coming,  speed  the  parting  guest.  —  Pope. 


CHAPTER  VIII 
Being  a  Guest 

Just  as  there  are  certain  things  every  hostess  must 
remember,  so  also  there  are  certain  things  that  every 
guest  must  keep  in  mind. 

In  order  to  avoid  possible  embarrassment  for  you  and 
for  your  hostess,  be  careful  not  to  call  at  or  near  meal 
time.  Boys,  when  calling  on  a  girl,  be  sure  to  rise  as 
soon  as  she  comes  into  the  room,  just  as  you  would  for 
her  mother,  or  other  older  person.  Never  call  on  a 
girl  whom  you  do  not  respect  enough  to  show  this 
courtesy.  Girls,  as  a  rule,  when  calling  on  a  friend, 
do  not  stay  after  ten  o'clock.  Boys,  do  not  stay  so 
late  when  calling  on  a  girl  that  she  has  to  tell  you  to  go 
home.  Find  out  at  what  time  her  parents  expect  her 
callers  to  leave.  Otherwise,  if  she  is  still  in  school,  ten 
o'clock  is  a  reasonable  hour  for  de- 
You  can't  make  a  parture.  On  leaving,  tell  the  girl 
grace  u  exi  is  e  -^  much  you  have  enjoyed  the 
has  to  tell  you  the  .  ,    .. 

^jjj^g^  evenmg,  or  ask  it  you  may  come 

again  soon. 
When  you  go  for  an  overnight  visit  or  longer, 
be  sure  to  take  with  you  your  own  toothbrush,  hair- 
brush, comb,  face  cloth,  and  other  toilet  necessities. 
See  to  it  that  you  have  a  sufficient  supply  of  clean 
clothes  that  are  in  good  condition.    Do  not  risk  being 

34 


BEING  A  GUEST  35 

either  a  disgrace  to  your  hostess  because  of  untidiness, 
or  a  burden  to  her  by  requiring  laundering  privileges. 

It  is  a  thoughtful,  though  not  absolutely  necessary, 
attention  to  take  your  friend's  mother  a  little  gift  to 
show  your  appreciation  of  her  willingness  to  entertain 
you.  Candy,  flowers,  or,  if  you  are  a  girl,  some  piece  of 
your  own  hand-work,  are  always  in  good  taste. 

Take  great  care  to  conform  to  the  household  routine 
in  every  way.  Be  prompt  at  meals;  be  helpful  about 
the  house.  It  is  always  proper  to  make  your  own  bed, 
to  keep  your  own  room  in  order,  and  to  offer  to  help 
with  the  dishes,  or  in  other  ways,  unless  there  are  serv- 
ants to  do  these  things.  There  is  no  good  reason  why 
boys  as  well  as  girls  should  not  do  this. 

Adjust  yourself  readily  to  the  plans  of  your  host  or 
hostess,  and  respond  enthusiastically  to  all  efforts  to 
make  you  happy.  Offer  to  share  the  expense  of  trips  away 
from  the  home.  If  your  host  or  host-  ^  ,  , 
ess  refuses  to  allow  this,  accept  the 
decision  gracefully  and  try  in  some  other  way  to  express 
your  appreciation  of  her  entertainment.  Do  not  expect 
to  be  entertained  all  the  time.  Have  a  book  to  read  or 
some  other  occupation  to  fill  in  the  time  when  your 
friends  are  occupied.  Never  encourage  a  plan  to  which 
the  mother  of  your  host  or  hostess  is  opposed. 

Do  not  overstay  the  time  of  your  invitation,  and  on 
leaving  do  not  fail  to  thank  your  friend's  mother  for 
the  visit.  At  the  same  time,  if  you  are  in  a  position  to 
do  this,  ask  her  whether  your  friend  may  not  visit  you 


36  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

at  some  later  date.  Much  of  the  joy  that  your  friend 
derives  from  your  visit  is  in  the  thought  that  you 
have  been  happy.  Do  not  fail  to  say  how  much 
real  joy  the  visit  has  given  you. 


Write  your  "bread  and  butter"  letter  promptly. 

After  your  return  home,   write  promptly  to  your 

friend's  mother  and  to  your  friend,  telling  them  again 

how  much  you  enjoyed  your  stay 

your    es    e  er      ^^.^j^  them.  These  are  called  "  bread 

paper. 

and  butter"  letters.     As    with    all 

your  letters,  use  paper  without  lines  —  preferably  white. 


A  problem:  who  will  solve  it? 

Suppose  you  have  just  returned  from  a  visit.     Write  your  friend's 
mother  a  suitable  letter.     Perhaps  the  one  given  below  will  help  you. 

Dear  Mrs.  Jones: 

It  was  raining  when  my  train  pulled  into  the  station,  but 
father  was  waiting  for  me  with  an  umbrella.  I  have  done 
so  much  in  this  past  week  that  it  seemed  a  long,  long  time 


BEING  A  GUEST  37 

since  I  had  seen  my  family.  They  were  interested  in  hearing 
about  my  good  time,  and  I  had  so  much  to  tell  them  that  we 
stayed  up  late.  I  told  them  everything  we  did  —  the  pic- 
nics, the  dance,  the  boat  rides  —  but  I  can  never  quite  tell 
them,  or  any  one,  how  much  I  appreciate  your  kindness  in 
giving  me  so  much  happiness. 

Mother  thinks  I  look  very  well  and  hopes  I  was  not  a 
great  deal  of  trouble  to  you. 

Thank  you  very,  very  much,  Mrs.  Jones,  for  my  happy 
hoUday. 

Very  sincerely  yours, 

Alice  Lee. 


CHAPTER  IX 

Invitations  and  Refreshments 

An  informal  invitation  may  be  written  or  spoken.  In 
giving  it,  the  important  things  to  remember  are: 

To  give  the  date  clearly.    ^ 

To  indicate  the  time  you  would  like  your  friends  to 
come.  To  say,  ^^Come  early"  is  bad.  It  may  mean  half 
past  seven  to  some,  half  past  eight  to  others.  Say  rather, 
'^Come  about  eight  o'clock."  Then  the  guest  feels  no 
embarrassment  nor  fear  that  she  or  he  will  arrive  before 
the  hostess  is  ready.  For  an  afternoon  party  it  is  custom- 
ary to  tell  your  guests  not  merely  when  to  come,  but  also 
when  to  leave.  ^^From  four  to  six,  etc."  The  guest  is 
then  quite  sure  she  is  not  intruding  at  meal  time. 

To  suggest  the  size  and  kind  of  the  party.  Guests 
are  often  undecided  how  to  dress  for  a  party.  This  is 
usually  because  they  do  not  know  whether  the  party  is  to 
be  large  or  small,  elaborate  or  simple.  Usually,  an  informal 
invitation  indicates  a  very  simple  affair,  but  your  guest 
will  be  more  at  ease  if  you  give  her  a  hint  as  to  the  nature 
of  the  occasion.    If  you  write  the  invitation,  it  might  be: 

Dear  Mary: 

I  am  inviting  a  half  dozen  girls  and  boys  to  the  house 
Tuesday  evening,  and  I  want  you  to  be  one  of  us.  Will 
you  come?  Mother  says  we  may  take  up  the  rugs  and 
dance.     Come,  if  you  can,  at  about  eight. 

Sincerely  yours, 

Anna  Louise  Smith. 
38 


INVITATIONS  AND  REFRESHMENTS     39 

White  paper,  or  very  delicately  tinted  paper,  is  best 
for  such  occasions. 

Formal  invitations  are  used  more  rarely,  and  only  for 
dignified  occasions.  Such  invitations  are  in  the  third 
person  and  are  always  written  or  engraved. 

Miss  Anna  Smith  requests  the  pleasure  of  Miss  Brown's 
company  at  the  Iris  Club,  on  Thursday  evening,  March  the 
second,  from  half -past  eight  until  twelve. 

418  West  End  Avenue, 
February  the  twenty- third. 

R.  S.  V.  P.  —  Repondez  s'il  vous  plait  —  means  "Reply 

if  you  please,'^  and  when  found  on     > 

.,    .•         '    J'     J.       Ai.   i.  lio,  it  does  ao<  mean 

an  mvitation,  mdicates  that  prep-  r,  !■     ^       .  ^ 

.  T  Refreshments  served 

arations  are  bemg  made  accordmg  ^^^^  promptly. 

to    the    number    of    acceptances. 

Hence  a  prompt  reply  is  most  important. 

Your  reply  should  be  as  formal  as  the  invitation: 

Miss  Helen  Brown  accepts  with  pleasure  Miss  Smith's 
kind  invitation  for  Thursday  evening,  March  the  second, 
from  half-past  eight  until  twelve. 

428  West  Broad  Street, 
February  the  twenty-fifth. 

or 

Miss  Helen  Browni  regrets  that  a  previous  engagement 
prevents  her  accepting  Miss  Smith's  kind  invitation  for 
Thursday  evening,  March  the  second. 

428  West  Broad  Street, 
February  the  twenty-fifth. 


40  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

Refreshments   should  always    be   simple.     A  great 
variety  of    rich    food    is    vulgar. 
,  For  a  small  group,  the  following 

would  be  ample: 

p,  /  hot  or 

^^^^^   \iced  Sandwiches  candy 

or  and  or  and  possibly       or 

Grape  juice  light  cakes  nuts 

or  with 

Lemonade  ice  cream 

Serve  the  food  daintily.  You  may  have  the  guests 
come  to  the  dining  room,  or  serve  them  in  the  living 
room,  as  you  choose.  If  the  party  is  informal,  the 
napkins  may  be  either  of  paper  or  linen. 

Remember  that  the  refreshments  should  be  an  un- 
important part  of  your  entertainment.  If  the  guests 
come  for  the  food,  there  is  something  wrong  with 
your  party  or  with  your  guests. 


A  problem:  who  will  solve  it? 

Plan  a  class  party.  Will  your  invitations  be  formal  or  informal? 
Tell  why  you  think  one  or  the  other  is  better  for  this  occasion. 
What  are  you  going  to  say  in  the  invitation? 


CHAPTER  X 
Entertainment 

If  you  are  entertaining  a  group  of  people,  be  sure 
that  the  entertainment  is  of  a  kind  in  which  all  can 
take  part.  Do  not  have  dancing  if  you  know  that  one 
or  two  of  your  guests  do  not  dance,  unless  you  have 
provided  other  entertainment  for  them,  or  they  them- 
selves insist  that  they  would  enjoy  watching. 

Be  equally  agreeable  to  all  guests.  See  that  you 
get  an  opportunity  to  be  friendly  to  each  one.  Look 
out  especially  for  shy  guests,  or  ^  ^ 
those  who  are  strangers  to  most  of 
the  people  present.  Try  to  make  them  feel  at  ease  by 
bringing  them  into  the  conversation,  explaining  to 
them  the  things  about  which  you  are  talking.  Give 
the  rest  of  the  group  a  httle  information  about  strangers, 
so  that  they  can  more  easily  converse  with  them;  for 
example,  ''Mary  has  just  come  to  Philadelphia  to  live. 
Tell  us  about  your  experience  down  town  this  morning, 
Mary.     Did  you  get  lost?" 

If  you  ask  a  guest  to  sing  or  play,  make  it  very  clear 
that  you  really  would  like  to  have  her  or  him  do  it, 
but  do  not  continue  urging  after  a  definite  refusal. 
You  may  spoil  the  pleasure  of  a  guest  by  being  too 
insistent.  The  latter  may  not  feel  able  to  gratify  you, 
yet  may  feel  that  it  is  impossible  to  continue  to  refuse 

41 


42  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

your  request  without  being  rude.  If  a  subject  of  con- 
versation is  touched  upon  which  you  know  may  be  dis- 
agreeable to  one  of  your  guests,  it  is  your  place  to  turn 
the  conversation  into  another  channel. 

WHien  you  are  invited,  come  at  the  time  set  by  your 
host  or  hostess.     If  you  are  asked  to  come  at  eight,  that 

is  when  you  are  wanted,   not   at 
Don't  excite  the  cookl  xr     •      m.   j      i.       j- 

nme.     It    mvited     to    dmner    or 

lunch,  try  to  arrive  not  more  than  ten  minutes  before 

the  hour  set,  unless  your  hostess  has  particularly  invited 

you  to  come  earher. 

Take  an  interested  part  in  the  entertainment  pro- 
vided, even  though  it  is  not  the  kind  you  would  have 
chosen.  It  is  very  selfish  and  rude  to  withdraw  to  a 
corner  with  one  or  two  others  and  laugh  and  talk  with 
them,  while  you  take  no  part  in  the  games  planned. 
If  each  one  does  his  best  to  make  the  party  a  success, 
it  will  be  the  best  kind  of  success  for  all. 

If  people  sing  or  play  the  piano  for  your  gratification, 
listen  without  talking.  It  is  the  height  of  rudeness  to  talk 
at  such  a  time,  and  is  very  disconcerting  to  the  performer. 

Do    not   grow   too   noisy.     You   can   have   a  good 

time      without      shrieking.       Remember      that      the 

neighbors     may     be     forming     a 

Use  the  loud  needle  opinion   of  your  hostess   be- 

on  the  victrola  r    x i        i      j  r 

.    ,  .  cause    of    the    loudness    of    your 

mirth. 
Do  your  part  in  giving  the  shy  guest  and  the  stranger 
a  happy  time.     Do  not  imagine  that  such  a  guest  is 


ENTERTAINMENT  43 

entertained  by  hearing  you  converse  gaily  with  others 
on  subjects  that  are  ^unknown  to  him.  You  must 
make  him  feel  that  he  is  one  of  your  number. 

If  entertained  in  the  evening,  do  not  stay  too  late. 
The  time  when  refreshments  are  served  gives  an  indi- 
cation of  the  time  your  hostess  expects  you  to  depart. 
Usually  from  three-quarters  of  an  hour  to  an  hour  after 
refreshments  are  served  is  an  appropriate  time  to  take 
your  leave.  When  leaving,  shake  hands  with  the  hostess 
and  tell  her  how  much  you  have  enjoyed  the  evening. 
If  there  is  a  guest  in  whose  honor  the  party  has  been 
given,  shake  hands  with  her  too.  If  this  was  your 
first  time  of  meeting  her,  tell  her  how  glad  you  are  to 
have  had  this  opportunity  of  knowing  her  and  express 
your  hope  that  you  will  meet  her  again;  for  example, 
^^Good  night,  Clara.  I'm  so  glad  Anna  has  given 
us  an  opportunity  to  meet  you.  I  hope  to  see  you 
again  if  Anna  has  not  filled  all  your  time,  "etc.  If  you 
have  met  her  before,  tell  her  how  pleasant  it  is 
to  see  her  again.  If  the  guest  of  honor  is  a  boy  he 
should  receive  a  similar  cordial  farewell.  Be  sure  to 
say  good  night  to  the  parents  of  your  hostess  —  telling 
them  how  greatly  you  have  enjoyed  the  party. 

If  you  are  obliged  to  leave  before  the  others  do,  it 

may  be  well  to  say  good  night  quietly  and  to  slip  away 

without    attracting    the    attention 

of  the  other  guests.     If,  however,      .^J  ^    ^       °^^ 

r  •      ji     1  -j-il    without  you. 

you  are  on  very  iriendly  terms  with 

them  all,  it  is  pleasanter  just  to  pause  in  the  doorway 


44  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

and  say,  '^Goodnight,  everybody."  The  main  point 
in  making  your  exit  is  to  express  your  appreciation 
to  every  one  who  has  had  a  hand  in  entertain" ng  you, 
and  at  the  same  time  to  make  your  going  inconspicu- 
ous. Remember,  it  is  not  a  feature  of  the  evening's 
entertainment. 

problems:  who  will  solve  them? 

1.  Why  not  have  a  class  party?  Divide  into  various  commit- 
tees, plan  the  games  and  refreshments,  send  out  invitations,  and 
give  the  party.  Be  sure  that  ever}'  member  of  the  class  takes  part 
in  some  way. 

2.  Report  on  actual  parties  that  you  have  given  or  to  which  you 
have  been  invited.  Were  these  parties  successes?  Why,  or  why 
not? 

3.  Which  of  your  social  duties  em];)arrass  or  trouble  you  most? 
Can  you  discover  why? 

4.  Add  other  slogans  to  this  one : 

Good  manners  always  demand  that  you  remember  the  other  fellow! 


CHAPTER  XI 

Dress 

In  dress,  as  in  other  things,  individuahty  will  out, 

but  its  expression  should  never  be  allowed  to  carry 

you  to  the  point  where  you  become  conspicuous  by 

reason  of  it.     Good  taste  in  clothing  is  usually  an  index 

of  good  breeding  and  culture,  just  as  good  taste  in  the 

other  arts  is.     Your  apparel  should  never  ^^ proclaim" 

you  —  on  the  other  hand,  dignity  of  bearing  and  gra- 

ciousness   of   manner   are  sufficient  to  subdue  almost 

anything  you  may  wear.     School    ^ 

1  ,       .  1   i.1  •  u      J-        Don't  try  to  be  a 

and  busmess  clothmg  may  be  dis-    ^^^^^^  ^^^^^^ 

tinctive   even   though  built  along 

simple  and  sensible  lines.     Avoid  extremes,  for  they 

usually  stamp  you  as  ordinary. 

Boys  have  less  difficulty  in  the  matter  of  dress  than 
girls,  but  frequently  boys  take  a  fancy  to  clothes  of  an 
extreme  cut  or  to  bright-colored  neckties  and  socks. 
Well-tailored  men  usually  see  to  it  that  their  shirts, 
ties,  and  socks  harmonize  with  their  suits  and  that 
their  suits  and  coats  are  well  fitted,  but  conservatively 
cut. 

Nevertheless,  the  fact  that  you  are  conservative  in 
your  dress  does  not  mean  that  you  may  stop  or  turn 
and  stare  at  some  one  else  who  is  conspicuous  because 
of  odd  or  extreme  dress.     The  words  of  a  Greek  phi- 

45 


46  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

losopher  are  quite  applicable  in  this  connection  —  ''He 

who  first  laughs  is  the  barbarian." 

Girls  should  be  inconspicuously  dressed  at  all  times. 

This  simple  rule  is  not  so  simple  as  it  seems  nor  is  it  easy 

to  follow.     Some  people  think  that, 

1°!!.    \  ^°^  at  all  costs,  one  must  be  dressed 

clothes  be  noisy.  .  '  ^     ,  .  rr,     i 

m  the  prevamng  fashion.      To  be 

sure,  if  we  were  all  made  on  exactly  the  same 
pattern,  and  if  we  all  dressed  in  exactly  the  same 
style,  it  would  be  easy  to  be  inconspicuous,  in  fact, 
almost  impossible  to  be  anything  else.  But  we  are 
not  all  the  same.  Some  of  us  are  short  and  fat,  and 
some  of  us  are  tall  and  thin.  In  consequence,  the 
style  of  dress  that  is  becoming  to  one  may  make  the 
other  wearer  ridiculous.  The  tall  sHm  girl  may  look 
well  in  a  very  short  and  narrow  skirt,  but  no  short 
fat  girl  would  ever  be  tempted  to  wear  one  if  she  could 
see  herself  from  the  rear.  If  you  wish,  therefore,  to  be 
inconspicuously  and  becomingly  dressed,  you  should 
consult  your  mirror  rather  than  the  fashion  books  for 
many  details,  for  dress  is  an  individual  matter. 

There  are,  however,  certain  rules  which  everybody 
may  keep  in  mind.    In  choosing  the  costume  for  school, 
one  must  consider  its  suitability  for 
fccrsion?"'*  *^^  the  occasion.     It  should  not  be  so 

elaborate  that  it  requires  constant 
care.  No  girl  can  do  her  best  work  if  she  must  at  the 
same  time  be  careful  that  a  delicate  dress  is  not  being 
soiled  or  torn.    Fabrics  that  tear  easily,  ruffles  that  muss 


DRESS  47 

and  soon  look  untidy,  and  velvets  that  catch  the  dust 
are  not  practical  for  school  wear.  Many  public  and 
private  schools  suggest  as  the  uniform  dress  a  dark 
skirt  and  a  washable  middy  blouse.  Such  a  costume  is 
practical  and  economical  and  generally  becoming.  It 
can  be  kept  in  good  order,  and  the  blouse  laundered 
with  small  expense  and  effort.  A  plain  suit  with  a 
simple  white  waist  is  a  substitute  for  the  girl  to  whom 
the  middy  blouse  is  unbecoming.  The  waist  should  be 
plain,  for  the  elaborate  ones  are  too  delicate  for  constant 
wear  and  frequent  laundering.  Moreover,  they  are  not 
in  good  taste  for  school.  Simple  dresses  are  also  suitable 
for  school,  but  a  little  more  difficult  to  keep  clean.  If  a 
woolen  or  a  plain  silk  dress  is  worn,  it  is  advisable 
to  have  a  separate  waist  lining  with  shields  attached 
that  can  be  laundered  as  often  as  necessary.  Such 
dresses  should  be  aired  and  sunned  frequently  and 
sponged  with  gasoline  or  other  cleanser.  It  is  imprac- 
tical and  also  in  very  bad  taste  to  wear  cast-off  party 

dresses  to   school.     If  one's  best     .,       

,  ,    .      ^-         1  ,      After  the  ball! 

dress  must  m  time  become  one  s 

school  dress,  it  should  always  be  chosen  with  that  end 

in  view. 

The  same  principles  of  simphcity  and  suitability 

apply  to  the  choice  of  shoes.    For  general  wear,  girls 

will  find  that  shoes  with  dark  leather  tops  are  more 

serviceable  than  those  with  light-colored  tops.     The 

latter  soil  easily  and  are  difficult  to  keep  clean.     All 

shoes  will  last  much  longer  and  look  well  to  the  last  if 


48  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

kept  in  good  repair  and  polished  frequently.     High 

French  heels  are  uncomfortable,  bad  for  the  health,  and 

tend  to  make  one  walk  awkwardly.     The  straight,  rather 

flat  heels  are  businesslike,  comfortable,  better  for  the 

feet,  and  incidentally  much   better   looking.     Appre- 

TTn-        11         .MX  o       elation  of  the  beauty   of    normal 
Why  walk  on  stilts?        ^  ,        i  i       i  i       i 

toot  development  should  take  pre- 
cedence over  silly  adherence  to  a  fashion  that  decrees 
stilt-like  heels  and  needle-point  toes.  Many  w^ho  are 
definitely  trying  to  guide  their  lives  along  the  most 
hygienic  lines  have  not  passed,  in  foot  intelHgence  at 
least,  beyond  the  stage  of  the  Chinese  foot-binders. 
In  fact,  the  Chinese  show  greater  discrimination  in  the 
matter,  since  foot-binding  is  limited  to  ladies  of  high 
caste,  who  will  always,  presumabl}^  be  carried  about  by 
coohes.  In  America,  working  girls,  who  need  sensible, 
appropriate  foot  gear,  are  among  the  worst  offenders. 

Clothing  has  a  practical  as  well  as  an  aesthetic  value, 
and  in  choosing  it  we  should  strive  to  satisfy  each. 
Some  persons,  judging  from  the  way  in  which  they 
adorn  themselves,  seem  to  lose  sight  of  the  practical 
value  of  clothes  and  to  regard  the  body  as  a  kind  of 
human  Christmas  tree  upon  which  to  hang  any  and 
all  ornaments  that  they  can  acquire.  Jewelry  as  a  rule 
should  not  be  worn  by  young  people;  the  excessive  use 

of  it  is  in  very  bad  taste.     Hands 

.      ,  ^   o         loaded  with  rings  do  not  look  ready 

a  jewelry  counter?  ^  .  *^ 

for  work.  A  school  rmg  and  at  the 
most  one  other  ring  are  sufficient  adornment  for  a  girl. 


DRESS  49 

Necklaces  are  apt  to  be  a  nuisance.  Earrings  and 
fancy  combs  are  in  bad  taste  and  tend  to  make  the 
wearer  look  tawdry. 

The  wearing  of  much  jewelry  always  marks  you  as  a 
person  of  poor  taste.  This  is  even  more  true  of  boys  than 
of  girls.  A  boy  should  never  wear  but  one  ring,  if  any, 
and  that  should  be  of  the  plainest  sort  —  a  signet  ring, 
perhaps.  Diamonds  or  cut  stones  of  any  kind  are  out 
of  place  on  a  man's  hand,  or  in  his  necktie.  If  a  necktie 
pin  is  worn,  it  should  be  small  and  inconspicuous,  and 
there  should  be  no  unnecessary  chains,  pins,  charms, 
or  other  jewelry  in  evidence. 

The  hair  should  be  simply  and  becomingly  arranged. 

This  again  is  an  individual  matter,  but  one  should  be 

warned  against   adopting  the  ex-    ^^  ^  . 

J.   7  A      •  iJ     I,    •  1     Have  you  a  hair 

treme  styles.     A  girl  s  hair  waved    j^^ttress? 

softly  over  the  ears  is  pretty,  but 

extending  in  solid  buns  on  either  side  of  the  head  is 

grotesque.     The  shape  of  one's  head  and  face  rather 

than    the    style    of    one's    neighbor    should    be    the 

guide. 

The  girl  or  boy  who  is  properly  dressed  may  spoil 

the  whole  effect  by  failing  to  be  clean.    No  one,  of 

course,  needs  to  be  reminded  that    _ 

1  11-  re  J.       Try  a  little  soap 

an  unclean  body  is  an  onense  to    ^^^  water 

one's  neighbors,  but  we  sometimes 

overlook  the  fact  that  there  are  other  ways  in  which 

we  make  ourselves  objectionable.     If  woolen  or  other 

non-washable  garments  are  not  sufficiently  aired,  if  the 


50  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

underwear  is  not  changed  often  enough,  if  the  hair  is 
not  washed  frequently,  one  cannot  expect  to  be  dainty. 
A  failure  to  be  careful  in  these  respects  is  particularly 
offensive  in  a  crowded  classroom.  Perfumes  and  highly 
scented  powders  are  not  a  substitute  for  cleanliness. 
Face  powders  and  rouge  are  not  a  successful  substitute 
for  a  clean,  clear  skin.  The  girl  who  uses  highly 
scented  soaps,  powders,  and  perfumes,  and  who  covers 
her  face  with  cosmetics,  lays  herself  open  to  the  sus- 
picion that  there  is  something  to 
Of  course  the  circus      ,  .  ,       tj.  ,       .  i    -,     ^       i  i 

would  require  it.  ^'^^'    ^^  POwder  is  used,  it  should 

be  unscented  or  very  delicately 
scented  and  never  apparent.  The  face  with  the  whit- 
ened nose  and  chin  looks  absolutely  clownish.  Per- 
fumes should  never  be  used  by  boys. 

In  choosing  underwear,  remember  that  it  must  stand 
frequent  laundering,  and  avoid  dehcate  styles  for  every- 
day wear.  For  girls,  knitted  or  crepe  underwear  is 
commendable;  it  is  easily  laundered  and  requires  no 
ironing.  The  girl  who  is  one  of  a  large  family  in  which 
the  laundry  is  a  problem  can  wash  out  at  night  this 
kind  of  underwear,  and  thus  with  little  effort  be  pro- 
vided with  a  clean  suit  each  day. 

Boys  must  be  sure  that  their  collars  are  immaculate; 
their  clothes  well  brushed;  their  shoes  in  good  repair 
and  polished  at  the  back  as  well  as  across  the  front.  A 
clean  white  pocket  handkerchief  should  always  be 
carried.  Care  in  these  matters,  along  with  clean  skin, 
clean  underwear,  clean  fingernails,  neatly  brushed  hair. 


DRESS  51 

and  shining  white  teeth  will  go  far  toward  making  a 
boy  a  success  both  at  home,  in  school,  and  at  work. 


problems:  who  will  solve  them? 

1.  Arrange  a  scene  for  the  Assembly:  Let  several  girls  appear 
on  the  platform,  some  of  them  suitably,  some  of  them  unsuitably, 
dressed  for  school.  Let  another  girl  explain  how  each  girl  is  or  is  not 
putting  into  practice  what  she  knows  or  should  know  about  dress. 

2.  Plan  a  fashion  show,  illustrating  dresses  for  different  occasions. 

3.  Let  a  group  of  boys  appear,  some  with  careless,  muddy 
boots,  rumpled  hair,  soiled  collars,  no  neck  ties,  while  others  are 
neatly  dressed.  Let  another  boy  point  out  the  details  which  must 
receive  attention  if  the  boy  is  to  seem  well  groomed. 

4.  Plan  a  scene  in  which  an  employer  interviews  several  appli- 
cants. Show  that  neatness  and  suitability  of  dress  count.  Intro- 
duce into  the  scene  some  chance  to  show  the  importance  of 
courtesy  in  manner. 

5.  Plan  other  scenes. 

6.  Add  other  slogans  to  this  one: 

The  apparel  oft  proclaims  the  man.  —  Shakespeare. 


CHAPTER  XII 

Girls  and  Boys 

Every  right  sort  of  boy  regards  the  friendship  of  any 
right  sort  of  a  girl  as  a  privilege.  It  is  something  to  be 
won.  For  this  reason  he  follows  the  age-old  mascuhne 
prerogative  of  taking  the  initiative.  He  should,  when- 
ever possible,  first  seek  to  know  a  girl  in  her  home  in 
order  that  her  parents  or'' guardian  may  be  satisfied 
that  she  will  be  safe  in  his  company.  A  boy  should  not 
shrink  from  meeting  a  girl's  parents,  or  they  may  fear 

that  there  is  something  about  his 
The  family  won't  -,  .  ti?    xr    j.  i         •  t_      j. 

,     ^       ^  character  or  life  that  he  wishes  to 

shoot  you. 

hide.  It  is  a  bit  of  an  ordeal  to  face 
the  inspection  of  the  family,  but  if  the  girl  is  a  good  pal 
she  will  help  to  make  it  easy.  No  young  man,  however, 
should  accept  frequent  hospitality  without  offering  some 
return.  This  does  not  mean  that  he  must  spend  a  great 
deal  of  money  on  the  girl.  A  girl  who  accepts  a  boy's  at- 
tention because  of  his  lavish  spending  of  money  shows 
greediness  and  vulgarity.  But  the  boy  should  want  her 
to  share  his  pleasures.    He  might  invite  her  to  a  dance,  a 

baseball  game,  or  perhaps  to  the 
Some  people  have  a  theatre.  If  this  last  suggestion 
good  time  with  a  ,  ,i        .a     ^ 

bag  of  pop  corn.  means  greater  expense  than  the  boy 

can  afford,  and  the  girl  knows  it, 
she  should  discourage  it.    Often,  this  can  be  done  very 

52 


GIRLS  AND   BOYS  53 

easily  and  tactfully  by  proposing  some  other  way  of 
passing  the  evening  —  letting  the  boy  feel  that  she  would 
rather  call  on  a  friend,  or  go  to  a  lecture,  or  to  see  a 
good  moving  picture.  If  a  boy  wants  his  appreciation 
to  take  the  form  of  presents,  flowers,  candy,  music,  or 
books  are  always  in  good  taste. 

If  a  girl  accepts  a  boy's  invitation  to  a  dance,  the  boy 
arranges  to  call  for  his  companion  at  her  home  and,  of 
course,  acts  as  her  escort  both  to  and  from  the  affair. 


He  may  provide  flowers. 

If  a  definite  time  for  starting  has  been  agreed  upon,  it 
is  a  matter  of  courtesy  for  a  girl  to  be  ready  on  time. 
When  the  girl  is  very  young,  or  when  her  parents  are 
notably  particular,  it  is  polite  for  her  escort  to  ascertain 
the  time  at  which  her  parents  wish  her  to  reach  home. 
If  the  boy's  finances  permit,  he  may  provide  flowers 
for  the  girl,  in  which  case  he  often  consults  her  prefer- 
ence so  that  they  may  harmonize  with  her  dress.  It  is 
customary  for  an  escort  to  claim  the  first  and  last 
dances  as  well  as  the  dance  just  preceding  and  the  one 


54  EVERYDAY   MANNERS 

following  the  intermission.  He  sees  that  the  girl  has 
partners  for  the  various  numbers  —  also,  when  refresh- 
ments are  in  order,  that  she  is  served.  He  assumes  the 
responsibility  for  her  enjoyment.  The  boys  whose 
names  appear  on  her  program,  or  others  whom  she  may 

know,  or  to  whom  she  may  be  intro- 
e  you  nervous  duced,    ask,    ''May    I    have    this 

about  the  new  steps?      ,  i,,      o.i  •       i 

dance."      She  answers  graciously, 

"Yes,  you  may/'  or  ''I  think  you  may,"  or  ''I'm  sorry, 
but  this  dance  is  taken."  At  the  end  of  a  dance,  it  is  the 
boy's  place  to  express  the  pleasure  the  dance  has 
afforded  him.  His  partner  replies,  "I  am  glad  you 
enjoyed  it,"  or  "I  enjoyed  it,  too."  Both  boys  and 
girls  should  be  careful  to  dance  in  such  a  way  as  to 
avoid  giving  the  impression  that  they  do  not  come 
from  homes  of  refinement. 

If  boys  and  girls  ask  a  teacher  or  other  older  friend 
to  chaperon  a  party  or  other  gathering  they  should 
treat  her,  on  the  occasion,  as  an  honored  guest.  It  is 
the  height  of  rudeness  to  be  neglectful  of  your  chaperon. 

At  the  theatre,  if  an  usher  shows  a  boy  and  girl  to 
their  seats,  the  girl  should  go  ahead  of  the  boy.  If  no 
usher  is  there,  the  boy  goes  first  to  find  the  seats,  but 
when  he  reaches  the  row,  he  should  stand  aside,  and  let 
the  girl  pass  in  ahead  of  him.  Both  should  remember  that 

well-bred   people   do    not   talk  or 
Don't  laugh  at  r  j     j     •        j.u  r 

^,  ..•     o  munch  candy  durmg  the  perform- 

the  wrong  time?  /  7      i  i       i  i 

ance  of  a  play.     The  boy  should 

be  attentive  to  his  companion  in  the  matter  of  assisting 


GIRLS  AND   BOYS  55 

her  with  her  wraps,  providing  her  with  a  program,  and 
so  forth.  Upon  their  arrival  at  her  home  after  the  theatre, 
it  is  not  customary,  if  the  hour  is  late,  for  the  girl  to  ask 
her  escort  into  the  house.  It  is  only  common  courtesy, 
however,  for  her  to  thank  him  for  the  evening's  entertain- 
ment, and  to  invite  him  to  call  at  another  time.  He  sees 
her  safely  inside  her  home  before  he  takes  his  leave.  If 
she  has  a  key,  he  unlocks  the  door  for  her. 

In  their  relations  with  boys,  girls  receive  exactly  the 
deference  and  courtesy  that  they  demand.  Boys  who 
desire  the  friendship  of  certain  girls  will  measure  up  to 
whatever  standards  those  girls  set.  Hence,  the  respon- 
sibility for  maintaining  a  well-mannered,  high-minded 
society  rests  very  largely  upon  its  girlhood.  It  seems, 
therefore,  only  reasonable  that  a  girl  should  expect  of 
a  boy. 

To  raise  his  hat  when  greeting  her  or  parting 
from  her. 

To  refrain  from  lounging  against  walls  or  pillars 
when  talking  to  her. 

To  stand  when  talking  to  a  girl  who  is 
standing. 

To  walk  on  the  outside,  instead  of  the  inside  of 
the  walk,  when  escorting  a  girl,  and  not  to  sand- 
wich himself  between  two  girls  when  walking  with 
them. 

To  refrain  from  calling  to  a  girl  on  the  street 
to  attract  her  attention. 
To  refrain  from  swearing  and  vulgarity. 


56 


EVERYDAY  MANNERS 


To  avoid  jostling  against  her,  or  grabbing  her 
arm,  or  other  faniiHarity.  (On  the  girl's  part,  it  is 
extremely  bad  taste  under  ordinary  circumstances 
to  take  a  boy's  arm.  A  boy  should  not  take  a  girl's 
arm  except  to  assist  her.  He  may  do  so  when 
boarding  a  car,  crossing  a  crowded  street,  or  pilot- 
ing her  in  a  dangerous  place.) 
If  the  boy  thoughtlessly  or  carelessly  disregards  any 
of  these  marks  of  courtesy,  the  girl  can  easily  help  him 


-:r-0,^Xv.:x^  f^^^::^ 


Boys,  be  courteous  to  all  women  and  girls, 
you  know. 


not  merely  to  those 


to  be  more  considerate,  and  less  of  a  boor.    A  simple 

suggestion,  made  in  a  friendly  way,  should  be  well 

^    ,,  ^    , ,  received.     If  it  is  not,  the  boy's 

Don't  hurt  her  r  •      j  u-       •  ^  \x.     x.      - 

feelings.  friendship    is    not    worth    having. 

Resentment  at  an  intended  kind- 
ness shows  a  vain,  crude  disposition.  A  boy  with  such 
a  nature  will  make  you  blush  for  him  many  times.    On 


GIRLS  AND  BOYS  57 

the  other  hand,  girls,  do  not  nag  because  a  boy  is  slow 
in  learning.  If  he  shows  that  he  wants  to  be  considerate, 
but  is  clumsy  and  awkward,  help  him  out  —  show  your 
appreciation  of  his  efforts. 

At  times,  a  boy's  help  may  be  needed  to  improve  the 
standards  of  the  girl.    The  latter  can  scarcely  be  ex- 
pected to  believe  that  make-up  is 
bad  form  if  the  boys  she  knows  ap-      ^   ^^    ^..    °^ 
parently  admire  it.    If  girls  realized    i^Qj^g  like? 
that  boys  often  think  it  a  weakness, 
which  they  do  not  hke,  but  accept  merely  because 
the  user  is  jolly  and  pleasant,  girls  would  be  more 
willing  to  retain  a  natural  appearance  and  dispense 
with  rouge  and  excessive  powder. 

To  see  that  our  'own  manners  are  above  criticism  is 

not  enough.    If  we  are  sincerely  interested  in  our  friends, 

we  want  to  help  them  all  we  can  to    ^    ,  ,      ,     , 

,.  ^     j^i      1      j^  ii     ^  •     •     .1  Don't  knock;  boost! 

uve  up  to  the  best  that  is  in  them 

—  not  through  sarcasm,  nor  teasing,  nor  laughing  at 

them,  but  through  an  honest,  friendly,  sympathetic 

interest  in  seeing  them  advance  to  the  highest  point 

possible. 

problems:  who  will  solve  them? 

1.  Plan  a  scene  in  which  a  group  of  boys  and  girls  are  eating  ice 
cream,  or  drinking  sodas  in  a  drug  store  or  in  a  confectioner's. 
Have  other  groups  stand  waiting  while  these  young  people  selfishly 
linger  at  the  table,  laughing  and  talking.  Let  the  scene,  also, 
show  some  boys  politely  helping  to  seat  girls,  while  other  boys, 
with  hats  on,  lounge  into  seats  first  themselves.    Add  to  the  scene 


58  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

other  incidents  which  might  occur  at  a  time  hke  this  to  show  the 
good  or  bad  manners  of  the  people  present. 

2.  Plan  other  similar  scenes  to  dramatize. 

3.  Ask  your  physical  training  teacher  to  get  for  you  the  rules  of 
the  National  Association  of  Dancing  Teachers.  Discuss  these  rules 
and  note  whether  you  are  following  them. 


CHAPTER  XIII 

Gifts 

It  is  very  easy  to  be  selfish  in  giving  presents. 

A  little  boy  once  bought  his  father  a  Kiddie  Kar; 
a  woman  presented  her  husband  with  a  vacuum  cleaner; 
a  girl  gave  her  mother  a  pendant  which  she  knew  her 


Choose  suitable  gifts.    A  little  boy  once  bought  his  father  a  Kiddie  Kar. 

mother  would  be  sure  to  allow  her  to  w^ear.  What  do  you 
think  of  such  selections  as  these? 

Do  you  alw^ays  try  to  consider  carefully  just  what 
the  person  to  whom  you  are  giving  would  really  like  to 
have?  It  takes  thought  and  tact  to  find  the  present 
that  is  '^just  right."  It  does  not  necessarily  take  a 
large  sum  of  money. 

Sometimes  it  is  more  considerate  not  to  give  presents 
at  all.     For  instance,  boys  and  girls  often  plan  to  give 

59 


60  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

class  presents  to   their  teacher.     Isn't   it   better   not 

to  try  to  do  something  which  forces  every  child  in  a 

^  .    ,      .  class  either  to  give  toward  a  present 

It  IS  the  giver,  not  .  i    •       i  • 

the  gift,  that  counts.      ^^  ^^   ^^P^^"^   ^'^  ^^^^^^   ^^^  re- 
fusing?   Good  will,  understanding, 

and  responsiveness  from  their  pupils  are  gifts  which 

teachers  appreciate  far  more  than  things  which  money 

can  buy. 

The  habit  of  sending  cards  of  greeting  at  Christmas 
and  other  anniversaries  is  becoming  more  and  more 
popular.  If  gifts  are  to  be  given,  remember  that  boys 
may  give  girls  flowers,  candy,  a  book,  or  a  bit  of  music 
perhaps,  if  they  wish,  but  not  jewelry,  silk  stockings, 
gloves,  or  other  personal  articles.  As  a  rule,  girls 
offer  boys  the  hospitality  of  their  homes  rather  than 
other  gifts. 

If  we  receive  a  gift,  a  letter  of  thanks  should  be 
written  immediately.  This  letter  should  be  so  worded 
that  the  one  who  receives  it  will  feel  the  sincere  appre- 
ciation behind  the  words.  While  we  should  not  forget 
courtesies  shown  us,  we  should  not  hurry  to  give  a  gift 
in  return.  It  is  unpleasant  to  feel  that  one  is  being 
'^paid  back"  immediately  for  something  given.  It  is 
better  not  to  be  so  lavish  with  presents  that  our  friends 
will  feel  under  constant  obligations  to  us.  If  we  are 
sure  that  our  gifts  always  represent  nothing  but  our 
sincere  desire  to  give  pleasure  to  some  one  else,  and  if 
we  exercise  good  taste  and  tact,  w^e  cannot  go  far 
wrong  in  this  difficult  matter  of  giving  presents. 


GIFTS  61 


A  problem:   who  will  solve  it? 

Plan  a  list  of  suitable  birthday  or  Christmas  gifts  for  the  following: 
Your  father,  mother,  sister,  brother,  a  boy  friend,  a  girl  friend, 
a  baby,  an  invalid.  Compare  your  lists  and  discuss  their  relative 
merits. 


PART  TWO 
IN  SCHOOL 


CHAPTER  XIV 

Assembly  Manners 

The  assembly  is  the  place  where  the  school  as  a 
whole  most  closely  touches  the  world  outside.  This 
is  the  place  where  students  attend  lectures,  musicales, 
and  plays;  hence  there  is  no  better  place  to  practice 
the  manners  which  are  pleasing  in  all  public  auditori- 
ums. Then,  too,  it  is  the  place  where  student  govern- 
ment reveals  its  strength  or  its  weakness.  A  student 
body  with  a  strong  sense  of  school  pride  will  sustain 
a  high  level  of  assembly  conduct,  Your  alma  mater 
but  a  school  that  lacks  this  fine  doesn't  want  any 
spirit  will  have  to  be  spurred  on  step-children, 
by  the  authority  of  its  faculty  to  a  behavior  that  is 
not  embarrassing  in  the  presence  of  visitors.  There 
are  certain  observances  that  are  essential  to  an  ideal 
assembly,  many  of  which  apply  equally  to  any  public 
gathering. 

Start  early  enough  so  that  it  is  not  necessary  to  rush 
to  reach  the  assembly  before  the  last  bell  rings. 

When  you  take  your  seat  be  careful  to  enter  from  the 
side  nearest  your  seat,  in  order  to  disturb  as  few  people 
as  possible. 

Be  prompt  to  obey  the  signal  to  stand  or  to  be  seated. 

Do  not  change  your  seat  until  the  signal  to  do  so 
has  been  given  by  the  principal  or  your  teacher.     In 

65 


66  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

making  the  change  remember  that  you  can  show  your 

appreciation  of  the  better  seats  by  moving  as  quietly 

as  possible. 

When  any  one  is  speaking  be  absolutely  attentive. 

If  you  are  unable  to  hear,  prove  your  self-control  by 

^    ,    ,         ^    ,       ,   remaining  just  as  quiet  as  though 
Look  pleasant,  please !  .         ■,  , 

you  heard  every  word. 

Refrain  from  whispering,  from  reading  a  paper  or  a 
book,  from  eating,  from  arranging  your  hair  or  cleaning 
your  finger  nails,  in  other  words,  from  doing  anything 
which  shows  discourtesy  to  the  one  who  is  conducting 
the  assembly  and  at  the  same  time  reveals  your  own 
lack  of  breeding. 

If  any  one  enters  from  the  side  or  rear  doors,  do 
not  allow  your  curiosity  to  lead  you  to  turn  your 
head.  The  attention  of  a  whole  section  can  be  dis- 
tracted by  such  conduct. 

When  a  piano  or  violin  selection  has  been  played, 
be  quite  sure  that  the  performer  has  finished  before 
you  begin  to  applaud. 

Do  not  continue  your  applause  when  it  is  evident 
that  the  one  who  has  performed  does  not  care  to 
give  an  encore.  Enthusiastic  applause  is  pleasing,  but 
when  overdone,  it  is  often  embarrassing  to  the  one 
whom  you  wish  to  honor. 

In  a  public  gathering  remember  that  it  is  rude  to 
leave  before  the  meeting  is  over  unless  this  is  abso- 
lutely necessary.  If  you  must  leave,  do  so  quietly,  that 
you  may  not  distract  the  attention  of  those  who  remain. 


ASSEMBLY  MANNERS  67 

If  you  are  seized  by  an  attack  of  coughing  which 
you  cannot  control,  leave  the  room  as  quietly  as  possible. 

In  general,  remember  so  to  conduct  yourself  that 
you  in  no  way  make  yourself  conspicuous  or  disturb 
any  one  else  in  the  gathering. 


PROBLEM 


Plan  and  give  an  oral  composition  on  assembly  courtesy.  In 
order  to  show  different  points  of  view,  some  members  of  the  class 
may  pretend  to  be  each  of  the  following: 

A  principal 

A  teacher 

A  guest  from  out  of  town 

The  father  or  mother  of  a  student 

A  new  pupil 


CHAPTER  XV 

Good  Manners  in  the  Corridors 

Whenever  people  congregate  in  large  numbers  it  is 
necessary  for  each  individual  to  be  respectful  of  every 
other  individual's  rights  and  privileges.  This  is  the 
case  in  school  and  particularly  is  it  true  of  the  corridors 
when  the  students  are  passing  from  one  classroom  to 
another,  to  the  assembly  room,  or  to  the  lunch  room. 
However,  if  every  one  will  remember  a  few  simple 
rules,  much  of  the  congestion  and  confusion,  now 
common,  can  be  obviated. 

Keep  to  the  right,  and  pass  quietly  and  quickly.     If 

you  are  tempted  to  saunter  along  aimlessly  or  to  rush 

madly,    remember    how    you    felt 
You  can  do  it  with-  ,  i  i     i     j 

out  a  traffic  officer.         ^^^^^^    ^^^^^    P^^^^g^    '''^^    ^^^^^^^ 
by  a  boy  or  girl  who  did  not  ob- 
serve the  traffic  rules. 

Watch  where  you  are  going  in  order  to  avoid  colli- 
sions. If,  however,  you  are  unfortunate  enough  to 
have  been  the  cause  of  a  collision,  remember  to  apolo- 
gize, and  try  not  to  offend  again  in  like  manner. 

Do  not  block  the  passageway  by  stopping  in  the 
middle  of  the  corridor  to  talk  to  a  friend.  Ask  him  or 
her  to  step  to  one  side  where  others  will  not  be  pre- 
vented from  passing. 

OS 


GOOD   MANNERS  IN  THE   CORRIDORS     69 

Remember  to  go  up  to  the  person  to  whom  you  wish 
to  speak  instead  of  shouting  from  a  distance. 

When  you  open  the  classroom  door  to  allow  a  teacher 
or  pupil  to  enter,  be  careful  to  do  so  in  such  manner 
that  you  do  not  block  the  passageway. 

Be  extremely  careful  not  to  run  the  risk  of  injur- 
ing some  one   by  rushing  out  of 
,  V        1  J  n^       J.      ji       We  don't  want 

the  classroom   doors,      iry  to  do    ^,         .   , 

^  the  ambulance, 

your  part  in  leaving  a  passageway 

through  the  corridor  before  school  and  at  dismissal. 

When  you  get  your  own  wraps  from  the  locker  be 
careful  not  to  drop  the  clothing  of  another.  If  you 
should  do  so,  do  not  fail  to  hang  the  garment  up  again. 

If  you  are  waiting  for  the  elevator,  form  a  single  line 
at  one  side  of  the  hall,  being  careful  to  face  in  the  line  of 
direction.  When  the  line  becomes  too  long,  a  good 
plan  is  to  form  in  couples,  the  second  person  becoming 
the  partner  of  the  first  by  stepping  obhquely  forward 
to  his  left;  fourth  person  becoming  the  partner  of  the 
third,  and  so  on  to  the  end  of  the  line.  The  one  on  the 
right  should  enter  the  elevator  first  to  prevent  any 
possible  congestion.  If  a  teacher  is  also  waiting  for  the 
elevator,  allow  her  to  enter  first. 

Have  sufficient  pride  in  your  school  to  help  keep 

the  corridors,  stairs,  and  lavatories 

clean.     Do  not  wait  for  the  ianitor  i  .     \    ?^^" 

*"  up  week  in  school, 

to  come  to  pick  up  the  paper  you 

may  see  on  the  floor;  make  that  a  part  of  your  own  duty 

to  your  school. 


70  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

Do  not  deface  the  walls  of  your  school  building 
with  any  kind  of  marking.  The  boy  or  the  girl  who 
writes  on  the  walls  of  a  building  or  who  idly  allows  his 
pencil  to  be  drawn  along  the  walls  is  guilty  of  a  serious 
misdemeanor.  

problems:  who  will  solve  them? 

1.  Plan  a  scene,  partly  in  pantomime,  partly  in  dialogue,  in  which 
a  group  of  boys  and  girls  show  the  right  and  the  wrong  way  to 
move  through  a  crowded  hall. 

2.  Think  of  as  many  w^ays  as  possible  in  which  girls  and  boys 
can  show  to  a  class  or  to  the  school  the  advantages  of  obeying 
traffic  rules  in  all  crowded  places. 

3.  Add  other  slogans  to  this  one: 

The  gentle  mind  by  gentle  deeds  is  knowne.  —  Spenser. 


CHAPTER  XVI 

Classroom  Manners 

The  traffic  rule,  Keep  to  the  right,  applies  to  class- 
rooms as  well  as  to  streets  and  corridors.  If  you  keep 
to  the  right,  and  leave  a  passageway  at  your  left,  you 
will  make  entrances  and  exits  easy. 

A  bag  or  strap  for  your  books  is  convenient.  If  you 
keep  your  belongings  together,  you  are  less  likely  to 
lose  or  mislay  your  books  and  papers,  and  you  are  more 
likely  to  be  really  prepared  with  everything  you  need 
for  your  work. 

When  you  enter  a  classroom,  go  at  once  to  your 
own  seat.  Put  into  your  desk  everything  you  will  not 
need  for  that  period.  Nothing  looks  worse  than  a 
roomful  of  desks  littered  with  piles  of  books,  packages 
of  lunch,  baseball  gloves,  and  oranges. 

Never  borrow  books,  inkwells,  pens,  or  pencils  from 
the  teacher's  or  a  pupil's  desk  without  asking  permis- 
sion.    Never  sit  in  the  teacher's 

V    .          1         ^v.        v.   '            1,  •        c    And  be  sure  to 
chair  unless  the   chairmanship   oi  ^^^     ,„ 

the  lesson  has  been  given  over  to    not '"Can  I". 

you.     Never  stand  close  beside  a 

teacher's  desk,  except  when  talking  to  her.     The  books 

and  papers  on  her  desk  are  her  private  property.     You 

have  no  more  right  to  examine  her  papers  or  read  any 

writing  there  than  you  have  to  read  other  people's  letters. 

71 


72  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

Put  your  waste  paper  in  the  basket  provided  for  that 
purpose.  A  desk  filled  with  waste  paper  has  no  room 
for  the  books  of  the  boy  or  girl  who  may  come  next.  A 
floor  littered  with  papers  indicates  that  you  are  careless. 

All  your  textbooks  should  be  covered.  Perhaps 
the  best  covering  is  heavy  paper,  which  may  be  removed 
when  it  is  worn  or  dirty.  A  covered  book  is  more 
hygienic  for  your  own  use,  and  can  be  handed  on  to  its 
next  possessor  in  clean  condition. 

If  a  teacher  is  not  present  when  the  last  bell  rings, 
some  pupil  should  start  the  lesson.  He  should  make  a 
list  of  absentees  and  a  list  of  excuse  notes,  and  leave 
these  on  the  teacher's  desk  as  a  record  of  the  period  over 
which  he  has  presided.  The  class  should  give  the 
pupil  chairman  the  same  attentive,  courteous,  and 
helpful  response  that  is  given  the  teacher. 

There  are  certain  things  to  remember  for  every 
recitation.  When  you  recite,  stand  correctly;  do  not 
.        .     .  slump,  do  not  lean  on  your  desk 

as  if  you  were  using  your  last  bit  of 
energy.  Speak  in  a  clear  and  distinct  voice,  so  that 
every  one  in  the  room  may  hear.  Do  not  try  to  talk 
loudly;  adjust  your  voice  to  the  size  of  the  room.  Pitch 
your  voice  low;  a  high  voice  is  likely  to  become  un- 
pleasant. 

Interruptions  of  any  sort  are  just  as  rude  in  the  class- 
room as  anywhere  else  If  you  raise  your  hand  while 
another  pupil  is  reciting,  you  interrupt  him.  Often  the 
sight  of  hands  waved  madly  in  the  air   breaks  one's 


CLASSROOM  MANNERS  73 

train  of  thought  and  makes  it  impossible  for  one  to  go 
on.  If  you  wish  to  ask  or  answer  a  question,  wait 
until  the  one  who  is  reciting  has  finished  and  until  the 
teacher  recognizes  you.  Try  to  break  the  hand- weaving 
habit. 

If  a  teacher  is  occupied  with  another  pupil,  wait  your 

turn  for  assistance.    Be  careful  not    „      ^         _^, 

.  Your  turn  next! 

to  interrupt  a  teacher  who  is  talk- 
ing to  some  one  else,  or  to  stand  so  close  as  to  overhear 
the  conversation 

Never  ask  a  new  question  until  the  one  previously 
asked  has  been  answered.  That,  too,  is  an  interruption. 
Do  not  answer  a  question  addressed  to  some  one  else. 

If  you  correct  some  one,  do  it  tactfully.  It  is  often 
the  manner  in  which  the  correction  is  made,  not  the 
correction  itself,  that  hurts.  The  one  who  is  corrected 
should  accept  the  criticism  courteously. 

Do  not  make  fun  of  others'  mistakes.  To  laugh 
reasonably  at  an  amusing  remark  or  happening  is 
natural,   but   it    is  rude  and    un-  ^ 

kind  to  make  a  boy  or  girl  feel    g^^^' 
ridiculous. 

If  you  must  enter  a  classroom  while  the  lesson  is  in 
progress,  disturb  the  teacher  and  class  as  little  as 
possible. 

At  the  end  of  the  period,  do  not  gather  up  your  books 
until  the  signal  for  dismissal  has  been  given.  Never 
rattle  paper  or  stand  poised  for  flight  while  some  one  is 
talking. 


74  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

If  you  are  the  first  one  to  leave  the  room,  fasten  the 
door  back.  If  it  cannot  be  fastened,  hold  it  open  for 
the  person  behind  you.  He  should  hold  it  open  for 
himself  as  soon  as  he  reaches  the  door.  Doors  should 
never  be  slammed,  but  always  closed  quietly. 

Before  you  go  to  assembly,  leave  your  books  in  a 
safe  place,  out  of  other  people's  way.  Books  or  bags 
left  on  the  floor  are  always  stumbled  over;  sometimes 
they  cause  accidents. 


problems:    what  answers  can  you  give  to  these 
questions? 

1.  Do  you  always  rise  when  you  are  addressed  by  the  principal 
or  a  teacher? 

2.  Are  you  quick  to  show  little  courtesies  such  as  erasing  the 
blackboard,  or  offering  a  chair  and  a  book  to  a  visitor? 

3.  Are  you  courteous  to  all  school  employees  at  all  times? 

4.  On  entering  either  the  main  office  or  one  of  the  department 
offices,  are  you  careful  not  to  interrupt  any  one  in  order  to  transact 
your  own  business,  even  if  to  avoid  doing  so  you  must  go  away  and 
return  later? 

5.  Are  you  particular  not  to  say  "Sure"  or  "Yes  Ma'am"  or  to 
grunt  "Uh-huh"  when  you  mean  "Yes,  Miss  Blank,"  or  "Yes, 
certainly,"  or  "Yes,  I  did,"  etc.? 

6.  Are  you  careful  to  refer  to  a  person  by  name  and  not  as  "he" 
or  "she"? 

7.  When  visitors  are  in  the  school,  do  you  try  not  to  seem  curious 
and  not  to  be  conspicuous  in  any  way? 


CHAPTER  XVII 

Lunch  Room  Manners 

There  is  no  better  place  than  the  school  lunch  room 

for  the  revelation  of  the  real  breeding  of  a  boy  or  girl. 

If  you  are  rude  and  inconsiderate 

r  r       •!       J.  1,  -n  Remember,  it  isn't 

of  your  family  at  home,  you  will  no    ^^^  ^^^  j^^^^^,^  ^^ 

doubt,  push  and  shove  to  get  first    party. 

place  in  Une  at  the  lunch  counter; 

you  will  probably  pile  your  belongings  on  the  table 

with  your  food;  and,  unless  some  one  reminds  you,  it 

is  likely  that  you  will  leave  your  dishes  on  the  table 

after  you  have  finished.    Here  are  some  of  the  things 

that  will  help  to  make  your  lunch  period  pleasant  if 

you  will  remember  them: 

Be  too  self-respecting  to  go  to  the  lunch  room  with 
dirty  hands.  You  don't  want  your  friends  to  feel  as 
Charles  Lamb  did  when  he  said  to  an  acquaintance, 
"If  dirt  were  trumps,  what  hands  you  would  hold!'' 

Never  rush  nor  elbow  your  way  for  first  place 
in  line. 

Be  courteous  to  those  who  serve  the  food. 

Be  sure  to  watch  where  you  are  going,  so  as  to  avoid 
collision  with  some  one  who  is  carrying  food. 

Use  the  table  for  lunch  only,  not  as  a  resting  place 
for  your  books  or  gym  shoes,  nor  as  a  study  table. 

You  lack  a  sense  of  fair  play  if  you  reserve  several 

75 


76  EVERYDAY   MANNERS 

seats  for  your  own  particular  group  of  friends,  shutting 
out  those  who  have  arrived. 

If  you  leave  your  used  dishes  and  your  crumbs  on 
the  lunch  table  you  are  unjust  to  those  who  follow  you. 

Remember  that  at  the  lunch  table  you  reveal  to  the 
other  boj^s  or  girls  the  kind  of  table  manners  you  prac- 
tice when  you  are  at  home. 

A  loud  voice  is  as  rough  and  un- 
Leave  roaring  ,  j.  •      xt_     i        r 

.    . j^   J.       ^  pleasant  m  the  lunch  room  as  m 

the  corridors. 

Be  as  careful  about  the  small  courtesies  of  the  table 

as  you  would  be  if  you  were  a  guest  in  the  home  of  a 

friend. 

problems:   who  will  solve  them? 

1.  If  your  school  has  a  lunch  room,  in  what  ways  can  the  stu- 
dents make  it  pleasanter  and  more  successful? 

2.  Add  other  slogans  to  this  one: 

Eat  and  drink  as  friends.  —  Shakespeare. 


CHAPTER  XVIII 

Student  Government 

If  you  have  a  Students'  Association,  remember  that 
the  officers  are  girls  and  boys  that  you  yourselves  have 
chosen,  and  give  them  the  respect  and  cooperation 
which  is  their  due.  When  they  give  directions,  or  make 
rules,  show  your  mettle  by  helping  to  carry  out  their 
regulations.  To  defy  them  or  ignore  their  instructions 
is  to  show  yourself  weak  and  foolish,  and  unworthy  to 
demand  respect  or  courtesy  from  others. 

Student  government  gives  you  your  best  opportunity 

to  train  for  the  responsibilities  and  duties  of  citizenship. 

If  you  are  elected  to  an  office,  do 

your  best  work  for  the  group  you    .    ^.    ^  ^^°,^  ^* 

„    ,  ,  n;     u       ^y  ^®  people, 

are  called  upon  to  serve.     To  be-    f^^  ^he  people." 

come  in  any  way  overbearing  or 
dictatorial  in  your  manners  shows  that  you  are  abso- 
lutely unfit  to  hold  office.    Do  not  forget  that  you  are 
a  public  servant  and  let  all  your  work  be  done  with 
courtesy  and  tact.      

A  problem:  who  will  solve  it? 

What  are  some  of  the  common  errors  in  courtesy  to  be  met  in  a 
Students'  Association  and  how  can  they  best  be  eliminated? 


77 


CHAPTER  XIX 

Manners  in  Games 

Play  fair.  Play  with  all  your  might,  and  never  lose 
your  temper.  If  you  lose,  be  a  good  sport.  This  apphes 
whether  the  game  is  a  private  one  in  your  own  home, 
one  in  your  school,  or  one  between  your  school  and 
another  school.  Do  not  spend  any  time  explaining  how 
you  happened  to  lose,  but  give  due  credit  to  the  superior 
playing  of  your  opponent.    In  any  pubHc  game,  or  any 


t 


^'IW|l(*/ffM-**1 


Lose  the  game  gracefully  and 


formally  arranged  tournament,  it  is  customary  to  shake 
hands,  as  a  sign  of  good  feehng  and  congratulation,  both 
before  and  after  the  match.  Whether  your  team  wins 
or  loses  it  should  cheer  the  opponents  at  the  close  of  the 
game. 

If  you  win,  be  a  good  sport,  too.    This  is  often  harder 
than  if  you  lose.    Do  not  gloat  over  the  defeat  of  your 

7§ 


MANNERS  IN   GAMES  79 

opponent,  but  put  him  at  ease  by  your  friendliness  and 
generous  spirit.  Some  such  speech  as,  "This  must  be 
my  lucky  day,"  or  ''I  certainly  enjoyed  that  game  — 
you  gave  me  a  good  fight,"  helps  to  soften  the  dis- 
appointment of  defeat. 

If  failure  to  win  a  game  was  due  to  one  person  on 
your  side,  do  not  pitch  into  him  about  it.  If  it  was  in- 
tentional,   never    play    with    him 

K.    ,      J..        1  11        He  may  have  been 

unmtentional,    and   he       t   f  1    k 

feels  badly,  say  to  him,  ''Cheer  up 

—  it  was  a  good  game  —  lots  of  fun  —  I'll  be  glad  to 


don't  boast  when  you  win. 

try  it  again."    After  all,  a  game  is  a  game.     Do  not 
spoil  it  by  making  it  a  battle  royal. 

If  you  attend  a  game  in  a  group,  keep  your  merriment 
within  your  group.  It  is  quite  possible  to  have  a 
thoroughly  good  time,  without  having  your  neighbors 
on  the  car,  or  elsewhere,  think  what  noisy,  ill-bred  boys 
and  girls  you  are. 


80  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

problems:   who  will  solve  them? 

1 .  What  books,  stories,  or  poems  have  you  read  that  show  instances 
of  courtesy  in  sport? 

2.  Describe  instances  that  you  yourself  have  witnessed. 

3.  Add  other  slogans  to  this  one: 

He  who  laughs  at  others^  woes 
Finds  few  friends  and  many  foes 


PART  THREE 

IN  PUBLIC  PLACES 


CHAPTER  XX 

In  Trolley  Cars  and  on  the  Street 

"I  am  a  part  of  all  that  I  have  met." 

Tennyson  has  put  these  words  into  the  mouth  of 
Ulysses,  and  if  you  think  a  httle,  you  will  realize  the 
peculiar  responsibility  which  rests  upon  each  one  of  us. 
Consciously  or  unconsciously,  we  imitate  mannerisms 
of  speech  and  dress,  of  behavior  and  thought.  We,  in 
turn,  create  an  environment  for  others.  We  should 
strive,  then,  to  develop  within  ourselves  a  ^^ manners'' 
consciousness,  sensitive  to  what  is  generous  and  beauti- 
ful and  just  in  human  conduct,  mindful  that 

Evil  is  wrought  by  want  of  thought, 
As  well  as  want  of  heart. 

There  is  no  other  place  in  which  the  spirit  of  chivalry 
seems  so  lacking  as  in  our  trolley  cars  and  subways. 
Nor  is  there  any  other  public  place  in  which  kindliness 
and  cheerful  cooperation  are  so  wholly  acceptable. 
The  sight  of  strong  young  people,  rushing  to  get  on  a 
car  ahead  of  women  and  old  people,  is  common.  It  is 
rather  selfish,  is  it  not,  when  you  have  so  much  strength 
to  spare,  and  they  may  be  weak  and  perhaps  weary 
too?  Stand  aside,  then,  and  let  those  who  are  infirm 
or  riper  in  years  precede  you.  If  a  girl  is  accompanied 
by  a  boy,  she  enters  first.    The  boy  assists  her  at  the 

83 


84  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

step  and,  if  she  is  his  guest,  pays  her  fare.  On  leaving 
he  should  alight  first  in  order  to  assist  her.  When  unes- 
corted, girls,  have  your  fare  ready  and  move  into  the 
car  without  being  urged  to  do  so  by  the  conductor.  A 
fraction  of  a  second  lost  on  you  seems  little,  but  if  mul- 
tipHed  by  the  hundreds  of  passengers  who  use  the  cars 
daily,  it  becomes  sufficient  to  upset  schedules  which  are 
essential  to  efficient  traffic  management. 

Always  rise  to  give  your  seat  to  a  much  older  person 
or  to  a  cripple  or  to  a  mother  carrying  a  child.  Do  so 
as  quietly  and  tactfully  as  possible  —  then  move 
away,  thus  delicately  reUeving  the  person  from  the 
embarrassment  which  may  be  felt  in  depriving  you  of 
your  seat. 

This  rule  applies  to  girls,  as  well  as  boys.  Boys  should 
also  rise  for  women,  whether  young  or  old,  as  women 
are  physically  less  able  to  stand  than  are  boys. 

Car  aisles  are  often  so  congested  that  it  is  very  diffi- 
cult to  make  one's  way  to  the  exit.  Try  to  make 
it  easier  for  the  person  struggling 

r  xt.    °     ^  ^°^  1,        toward  the  door.      You  will  expect 
of  the  car,  please."  .  -.         .       „  f 

the  same  consideration  irom  others 

when  your  turn  comes. 

The  keynote  of  good  manners  in  public  is  unobtru- 

siveness.     Loud  talking  and  laughing  will  make  you 

sharply     conspicuous.       Moderate 
Put  on  the  soft  pedal.  .       ^         . .   ,,  .... 

your  voice  to  suit  the  conditions  in 

which  you  find  yourself  placed.     Avoid  using  names  in 

trolley  car  conversations.    The  world  is  a  small  place, 


TROLLEY  CARS  AND   THE   STREET      85 

after  all,  and  curious  coincidences  often  happen.  You 
have  all  had  the  experience  of  hearing  a  stranger  in  a 
public  place  discuss  one  of  your  friends  or  acquaint- 
ances —  often  in  a  most  flippant  and  uncharitable 
way.  As  for  gossip  —  shun  it  as  you  would  the  plague. 
If  you  hear  an  unsavory  story  about  some  one,  let  it  go 
no  further  either  in  a  trolley  car  or  elsewhere.  The 
generous  nature. is  the  one  that  '^speaks  no  scandal,  no, 
nor  listens  to  it." 

Never  chew  gum  in  cars  or  in  other  public  places.  A 
mild-eyed  cow,  standing  knee-deep  in  lush  grass  and 
placidly  chewing  her  cud,  is  a  more  . 

or  less  peaceful  addition  to  a  lovely  ^  outside 
pastoral  landscape.  Not  so  the 
school  girl  or  boy  feverishly  chewing  a  big  wad  of  gum, 
and  talking  and  gesticulating  at  the  same  time.  If  you 
must  chew  (and  remember  that  chewing  gum  is  not  a 
refined  habit),  let  it  be  within  the  four  walls  of  your  own 
particular  room.  Eating  in  street  cars  comes  under  the 
same  ban.  If  you  do  not  wish  to  be  thought  ill-bred, 
do  not  indulge  in  it.  Nicety  and  refinement  also  demand 
that  all  personal  habits  should  be  attended  to  in  the 
privacy  of  your  own  room.  It  is  common  enough  to  see 
manicuring  being  attended  to  in  street  cars.  See  that 
you  are  never  one  of  the  offenders  in  this  particular. 

Just  as  unobtrusiveness  is  the  quality  that  makes  for 
street  car  demeanor,  so  is  it  the  indisputable  accom- 
paniment of  street  behavior.  Propriety  demands  that 
this  should  be  marked  by  quiet  dignity  of  speech,  dress, 


86 


EVERYDAY  MANNERS 


and  movement.  Avoid  anything  which  tends  to  focus 
the  attention  of  others  upon  you.  Eating,  chewing 
gum,  loud  talking,  and  laughing  are  as  bad  here  as  in 
trolley  cars. 

Crowded   sidewalks   and   crossings   offer    as   many 
opportunities    for    pushing    as    do    our    conveyances. 


Chewing  a  wad  of  gum  is  not  necessary, 


Make  a  special  effort  to  see  that  you  are  not  the  ag- 
gressor. Keep  to  the  right  always.  If  you  are  walk- 
ing two  or  three  abreast  and  feel  that  you  are  likely  to 
crowd  some  one  who  is  approaching,  the  member  of 
your  group  who  is  at  the  outside  of  the  walk  should 
step  behind  the  one  next  to  him,  thus  making  it  pos- 
sible for  that  person  to  step  to  the  edge  of  the  walk. 
If  this  does  not  give  room  enough,  the  one  who  is  now 
at  the  edge  of  the  walk  should  fall  behind  the  one  in 
front  of  him.  The  responsibihty  rests  on  the  person 
who  is  at  the  outside  of  the  walk.     As  he  steps  back- 


TROLLEY  CARS  AND  THE  STREET  87 

ward,  he  may,  if  necessary,  touch  the  arm  of  his  com- 
panion to  guide  him  or  her  to  the  edge  of  the  walk. 
If  you  do  inadvertently  colhde  with  some  one,  say 
'^ Excuse  me,"  or  ^'I'm  very  sorry."  Meet  such 
annoyances  with  good  grace  and  forbear  to  display 
anger  in  tone  or  look.     Remember  that,  as  Chesterfield 


while  chewing  a  cud  is. 


tells  us, ''  A  man's  own  good  breeding  is  the  best  security 
against  other  people's  ill  manners." 

If  you  meet  some  one  to  whom  you  think  you  must 
talk,  do  not  stop  on  the  sidewalk,  but  walk  on  in  the 

direction  in  which  your  friend  is 

T£  '.   1  XI,   J.  i„     •  Right  about  face, 

gomg.     If  it  happens  that  he  is  a    .  ^      ,         ,    * 

^  .11        111     forward  march, 

boy  and  you  are  a  girl,  he  should 

walk  with  you  toward  your  destination  —  having  first 

asked  your  permission  to  accompany  you. 

Boys,  be  careful  to  raise  your  hats,  not  merely  to 

older  people,  but  also  to  girls  of  your  acquaintance 


88  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

whom  you  meet.  If  you  are  walking  with  a  girl  and 
she  speaks  to  some  one,  raise  your  hat,  even  if  you  do 
not  know  the  person  to  whom  she  speaks. 

Remember  always  to  speak  to  the  parents  of  your 
friends,  and  to  all  older  people  of  your  acquaintance 
when  you  meet  them  or  see  them  on  the  street.  When 
you  pass  their  homes,  take  the  trouble  to  see  if  they 


If  you  have  a  civic  conscience  you  will  not  drop  waste  material  in 
the  street. 

are  at  the  window,  or  on  the  front  porch,  and  offer 

a  pleasant  —  ''Good  morning,  Mrs.  Smith,"  or  other 

suitable  salutation.   ''Hello"  is  not 

e  w  en  you  ^  courteous  way  to  greet  an  older 

person.      Your   courtesy  to  older 

people  indicates  the  kind  of  person  you  really  are.  Even 

a  vulgar,  ill-bred  person  will  be  courteous  to  one  whose 

favor  he  seeks,  but  the  person  of  real  refinement  is  alike 

courteous  to  all. 

In  these  days  of  universal  franchise,  every  boy  or 
girl  should  have  a  very  live  civic  conscience,  together 


TROLLEY  CARS  AND   THE   STREET      89 

with  a  sense  of  the  duty  toward  those  who  have  not  as 
yet  the  civic  '4ight."  Therefore,  you  will,  of  course, 
not  throw  trash  or  paper  into  the  street,  but  will  carry 
it  to  such  cans  as  are  provided  for  its  disposal.  If  you 
are  walking  out  into  the  country,  waste  material  should 
be  burned  and  the  fire  carefully  put  out. 


problems:    WHO  WILL  SOLVE  THEM? 

1 .  Mention  some  especially  pleasing  examples  of  courtesy  that  you 
have  noted  in  street  cars  or  on  crowded  sidewalks. 

2.  Dramatize  a  scene  in  which  three  people  walking  abreast  meet 
one  or  two  others  on  a  narrow  sidewalk. 


CHAPTER  XXI 

Stations,  Dining  Cars,  and  Restaurants 

Much  difficulty,  inconvenience,  unfavorable  com- 
ment, and  loss  of  temper  might  be  avoided  if  people 
realized  that  public  places  are  for  the  use  of  the  public 
in  general,  and  not  for  a  few  people  or  particular 
groups.  Stations  are  a  conspicuous  example  of  this 
sort  of  abuse. 

At  ticket  windows  one  should  keep  in  line  and  not 
attempt  to  crowd  ahead  of  others  or  jostle  them  out  of 

line;  it  may  be  quite  as  necessary 
Help  to  make  the  p        ,-,  ,  xi,  •      x-  i    x 

.  J  tor   them  to   secure   their   tickets 

service  good.  .     .      „  .  , 

promptly  as  it  is  for  you.     Also, 

to  have  the  approximate  amount  of  money  ready 
always  facilitates  the  service  at  a  ticket  window. 

In  one's  effort  to  appear  as  fresh  and  attractive  as 
possible,  the  use  of  the  lavatory  accommodations  in 
train  or  station  should  not  be  abused.  If  there  are 
others  waiting  for  the  mirror  and  washstand,  make  it 
your  business  to  finish  with  these  as  quickly  as  possible. 
In  return  for  the  use  of  such  accommodations  every  one 
ought  to  be  willing  properly  to  dispose  of  the  toweling 
that  he  has  used  and  to  leave  the  wash  stand  in  a  pre- 
sentable condition. 

Stations  should  not  be  made  meeting  places  on  any 
occasion  except  when  one  is  expecting  guests  or  friends 

90 


STATIONS,  DINING  CARS,  RESTAURANTS    91 

on  an  incoming  train.  When  it  is  necessary  for  you 
to  wait  in  a  station,  there  should  be  no  loud  talking, 
laughing,  nor  parading  about.  A  magazine  or  paper 
ought  to  keep  you  pleasantly  occupied. 

Bureaus  of  information  and  uniformed  attendants 
are  to  be  found  in  all  large  stations.  Both  of  these 
are  to  serve  the  public.  Consequently,  any  questions 
you  may  have  to  ask  should  be  directed  to  either  of 
these  sources  of  information.  Strangers  should  never 
be  questioned  and  any  advances  on  their  part  should 
be  promptly  discouraged. 

When  on  a  train,  do  not  occupy  more  seat  space 
than  is  yours  by  right. 

Eating  in  dining  cars  and  restaurants  presents  a 
slightly  different  problem  from  eating  in  one's  home  or 
in  the  home  of  a  friend.  If  you  are  dining  with  some  one, 
be  considerate  of  the  likes  and  dislikes  of  that  person; 
if  you  are  a  guest,  of  his  or  her  abihty  to  pay  for  the 
food  that  you  desire.  The  choice  of  j^  »t  tuff 
food  should  be  made  as  promptly 
as  possible  and  no  more  should  be  ordered  than  you 
are  reasonably  sure  you  can  eat.  Waiters  and  waitresses 
or  others  in  attendance  should  be  courteously  treated. 

If  a  boy  takes  a  girl  to  a  restaurant,  and  a  waiter 
shows  the  way  to  the  table,  the  girl  should  pass  ahead 
of  the  boy.  If  they  find  the  table  themselves,  the  boy 
should  go  first  and  draw  out  the  chair  for  the  girl  to 
sit  down. 

When  the  meal  is  finished,  do  not  continue  to  hold 


92  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

a  table  if  others  are  waiting  to  be  served.  Do  not  spoiJ 
what  might  have  been  a  very  pleasant  meal  by  asking 
for  or  using  a  toothpick.  A  toothpick  is  no  more 
suited  to  pubhc  use  than  is  a  toothbrush. 


PROBLEM 

Discuss  — 
Asking  for  information  about  trains 
Buying  a  ticket 
Asking  to  share  a  seat 
The  dining  car 
The  sleeping  car 
Arrival  at  a  station 
Caring  for  one's  baggage 


CHAPTER  XXII 

Stores  and  Places  of  Amusement 

Good  manners  are  often  the  direct  result  of  a  sympa- 
thetic understanding  and  a  lack  of  selfishness.  This 
may  often  be  noted  in  connection  with  behavior  in 
stores   and  places   of  amusement. 

If   you   think   of   the   salespeople      ®°^®°^  ^^  ^  ^ ,.  ^^ 

.  y  .  -         .  .11    1        have  been  standing 

with    consideration,    you    will    be    ^^  ^ 

courteous  in  all  your  dealings  with 

them.      You    will   not   be   exacting    and   curt,    even 

though  you  may  think  you  have  cause  to  be  so.     You 

can  make  conditions  easier  for  these  workers  by  your 

own  kindliness  of  tone,  by  waiting  your  turn,  and  by 

being  a  little  patient  when  you  think  you  are  being 

served  slowly  or  incompetently. 

Aisles  in  stores,  with  few  exceptions,  are  narrow, 
and  are  intended  for  free  passageways;  therefore  it 
behooves  one  not  to  crowd  them  by  carrying  on  social 
intercourse  there.  There  are  chairs  provided  in  the 
waiting  rooms  for  people  who  wish  to  chat. 

If  you  are  caught  in  a  crowd  in  an  aisle  or  at  a  door- 
way, do  not  push  or  in  any  way  make  the  crowding 
worse.  Each  one  is  as  anxious  to  get  on  as  you  are,  and 
pushing  does  not  help.  It  only  annoys  the  ones  who 
are  pushed  and  shows  the  bad  manners  of  the  persons 
who  are  doing  the  pushing.     If  you  are  caught  in  a 

93 


94  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

crowd  because  of  an  accident  in  a  store  or  other  public 
place,  and  can  help,  do  so;  if  not,  get  out  of  the  way  as 
speedily  as  possible,  to  give  the  injured  person  much- 
needed  air,  and  the  ones  who  can  help,  an  opportunity 
to  do  so. 

It  is  discourteous  to  handle  goods  displayed  unless 
you  expect  to  buy,  and  even  then, 

ey  mig     Sf  ^^  jg  more  poHte  not  to  do  so  unless 

your  finger  prints  1  i         i  i 

your  hands  are  clean,  or  unless  you 

have  on  clean,  light-colored  gloves. 

Do  not  return  purchased  goods  unless  this  is  abso- 
lutely necessary,  for  to  do  so  not  only  takes  advantage 
of  the  store's  courtesy,  but  also  makes  unnecessary 
work  for  the  employees. 

If  you  have  an  appointment  with  any  one,  be  prompt ; 
and  do  not  form  the  habit  of  waiting  in  aisles  or  in 
store  vestibules  for  any  length  of  time.  Keep  to  the 
right  in  all  aisles  and  passageways,  and  be  careful  not 
to  let  the  swinging  doors  fly  back  on  the  persons  follow- 
ing you  in  or  out.  If  you  see  a  woman  with  a  baby, 
or  some  one  who  is  feeble  or  lame,  or  burdened  with 
packages,  stand  to  hold  the  door  open  until  she  or  he  is 

well  out  of  the  way  of  a  collision. 
If  you  don't  he'U  j^  ^^,^  ^     .^,j  ^^^  ^  ^^^  ^^^^^ 

be  sorry  he  did  it.  ^  ° 

a  door   open  for   you,   accept  his 

courtesy  with  a  word  of  appreciation. 

It  is  when  people  forget  themselves  that  they  show 

what  they  really  are.     In  places  of  amusement,  we  are 

likely  to  forget,  so  we  must  be  especially  careful  of  our 


STORES  AND  PLACES  OF  AMUSEMENT    95 

manners  in  such  gatherings.  Your  behavior  in  all  public 
places  should  never  be  conspicuous;  if  people  notice 
you  at  all,  let  it  be  because  of  your  refined  and  courteous 
behavior,  and  not  because  of  your  loud  voice  or  rudeness. 

If  there  is  a  ticket  line,  keep  in  it,  and  do  not  annoy 
people  by  making  them  think  you  are  trying  to  get 
ahead.  Of  course  you  wish  to  advance  as  promptly 
as  possible,  but  it  is  your  business  to  arrive  early, 
or  else  to  accept  graciously  your  right  place  in  the  line. 

Try  not  to  be  late  at  a  performance,  as  the  late 
comers  disturb  other  people.    If  you  have  to  speak  to 
your  companion  during  an  enter- 
tainment,   do    it   so    quietly   that       x     x     \. 
/  T        1     1     ^  ^^0^*  seat, 

people  about  you  are  not  disturbed. 

Even  between  the  acts,  avoid  loud  talking  or  loud 
laughing. 

It  is  very  rude  to  talk  aloud  about  the  performance 
if  you  have  seen  it  before,  for  those  around  you  may 

not  desire  to  know  ahead  of  time     ,      ,    , 

,      ,     ,  , ,  .       ,  TA    You  donH  need  to 

just  what  they  are  gomg  to  see.    It    break  the  shock. 
is  also  rude  to  read  aloud  the  expla- 
nations on  the  screens  of  moving  pictures.  Again  you  are 
annoying  people  near  you  who  deserve  your  considera- 
tion. 

If  you  have  ever  had  to  return  to  a  theatre  or  moving 
picture  hall  after  a  performance,  you  have  probably 
noticed  the  litter  of  papers,  programs,  and  candy 
boxes  on  the  floor.  If  you  happen  to  walk  through  a 
pubUc  park  after  Saturday  or  Sunday,  you  have  noticed 


96  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

egg  shells,  fruit  skins,  bottles,  boxes  and  papers.  Many 
thousands  of  dollars  of  the  public  money  are  spent  in 
cleaning  up  parks  after  picnickers.  Certainly  the  cleaners 
in  a  theatre  must  work  with  disgust  on  the  trail  of  dis- 
order left  by  the  seemingly  refined  people  who  have  been 

enjoying  the  performance.    Ameri- 
Have  you  ever  tried  ,  j      •  i       u      i  j    x  i 

»  It-  X  1-  o  can  boys  and  girls  should  take 
using  the  trash  cans?  ,        .  ,    .      ,    . 

enough  pride  m  their  own  property 

and  in  the  property  of  others  to  keep  things  in  order. 

One  day  a  little  girl  was  standing  on  one  of  the 
boulevards  of  Paris  eating  a  cake  of  chocolate.  As  she 
nibbled  the  candy  she  threw  the  wrappings,  bit  by  bit, 
to  the  pavement.  Suddenly  a  tall  French  officer  ap- 
peared. ^^Here,  you  little  American  pig,"  he  said, 
^^pick  up  that  paper."  The  astonished  child  did  so.  A 
bystander  spoke  to  the  policeman :  ''How  did  you  know 
she  was  American?"  he  asked.  ''A  French  child 
wouldn't  do  such  a  thing,"  said  the  officer;  ''in  Amer- 
ica they  don't  care  where  they  throw  things."  Remem- 
ber that  it  is  a  mark  of  bad  citizenship  as  well  as  a 
species  of  bad  manners  to  throw  rubbish  on  the  floor 
of  a  pubhc  place,  in  street  cars,  streets,  or  parks.  If 
you  haven't  a  social  conscience  you  will  never  make  a 
really  good  citizen  of  any  country. 


PROBLEM 


1.  Plan  a  campaign  for  better  care  of  parks  and  public  places. 

2.  Add  other  slogans  to  this  one: 

//  it  is  not  seemly,  do  it  not.  — •  Marcus  Aurelius. 


PART   FOUR 
IN  BUSINESS 


CHAPTER  XXIII 
Business  Manners 

Considered  in  a  general  way,  the  principle  under- 
lying relations  among  business  people  is  the  same  as  that 
which  underlies  courteous  relations  in  home  or  school  — 
the  desire  to  remove  friction  and  to  make  intercourse 
between  individuals  as  easy  and  as  pleasant  as  possible. 

Business  relations  are  of  necessity  more  or  less  formal. 

Your  attitude  toward  those  with  whom  you  come  in 

contact,  however,  need  not  be  cold 

or  distant,  but  neither  should  it  be       ^^^  *  ^  ^  ,^ .T7 
.  '      .,.  ^^  ^^.^    ,      nor  a  funeral  either, 

tree   or   lamiliar.      Your   attitude 

should  invariably  be  dignified,  showing  respect  for  the 

person  you  are  addressing,  as  well  as  a  very  real  respect 

for  yourself.    It  should  be  pleasant  and  yet  impersonal, 

attentive,  but  not  curious,  alert,  but  by  no  means 

forward. 

When  you  enter  your  place  of  business  in  the  morning, 
recognize  with  a  greeting  those  who  are  already  there 
and  those  who  come  in  later.  This  is  a  Httle  thing,  but  a 
cheery^'  Good  morning"  may  help  to  start  the  day  aright. 

Be  careful  that  your  appearance  reflects  credit  on 

your  place  of  employment.     The  sales  force  in  many 

estabhshments  are  asked  to  dress    ,,„ 

,    .  ,  ,,  "Neat  but  not  gaudy." 

m  a  certam  way  because  these  es-  ^      ^ 

tabUshments  reahze  that  the  appearance  of  their  em- 

99 


100  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

ployees  affects  their  business.  This  is  true  wherever 
the  employee  is  required  to  meet  people,  but  in  many 
places  no  rules  are  laid  down,  and  an  employee  may  be 
tempted  to  take  advantage  of  this  fact,  not  realizing 
that  by  so  doing  he  not  only  hurts  his  employer,  but 
also  his  own  business  standing  and  his  actual  money 
wage. 

Boys,  get  up  early  enough  so  that  you  do  not  have 
to  omit  to  shave.  A  clean-shaven  face  is  a  business 
asset.  Girls  and  boys,  see  that  your  nails  are  well 
cared  for  —  perfectly  clean  and  short.  There  is  noth- 
ing more  disgusting  than  long,  dirty  nails.  See  that 
your  suit  is  pressed  regularly,  and  not 
only  pressed,  but  cleaned.  Grease 
spots  are  never  attractive.  You  can 
care  for  these  matters  yourself,  you 
know,  so  expense  is  no  excuse.  Your 
shoes,  too,  need  regular  attention. 
They  should  be  polished  frequently, 
and  the  heels  should  be  built  up 
as  soon  as  they  become  uneven. 
Though  you  may  not  know  it,  there  are  people  who  form 
their  first  impression  of  you  from  your  heels. 

Girls,  if  you  wear  white  shoes  in  the  summer,  be  sure 
that  they  are  immaculate.  And  give  yourselves 
enough  time  at  home  in  the  morning  to  dress  and  to 
comb  your  hair  so  that  it  will  need  no  further  attention 
during  the  day.  If,  however,  you  find  it  necessary  to 
attend  to  any  detail  of  your  toilet,  go  to  the  dressing 


BUSINESS  MANNERS  101 

room  provided  for  you;   do  not  sit  at  your  desk  and 

arrange  your  hair  or  manicure  your  finger  nails. 

To  chew  gum  is  bad  form  anywhere  in  pubHc,  but 

particularly  bad  in  an  office.    The  nerve  strain  usually 

is  great  during  business  hours,  and 

,  IT,.  1    .  Try  working  some  of 

to  see  somebody  s  jaws  work  mces-    ^^^^  ^^^^^  ^^^^1^^^ 

santly  usually  increases  this  strain. 

Loud  laughing  and  talking  will  always  make  you 
unpleasantly  conspicuous.  This  is  also  true  of  pro- 
longed conversations  on  subjects  other  than  those 
relating  to  business.  They  are  wasteful  of  the  em- 
ployer's time,  and  produce  a  most  unbusinesslike  effect 
in  an  office.  They  are, 
therefore,  to  be  avoided. 

If  you  are  an  office 
boy,  see  things  to  do; 
don't  feel  that  you  must 
do  only  what  you  are 
told.  Be  attentive,  and 
act  promptly  when  in- 
structions are  given  you. 

Care  should  be  taken  in  regard  to  interrupting  con- 
versations. First  of  all,  be  sure  that  your  business  is 
important  enough  to  call  for  an  interruption.  Then 
say,  ^'I  beg  your  pardon,"  or,  '^Excuse  me,  please,  for 
interrupting  you."  Then  give  your  entire  attention  to 
the  person  you  need  to  address. 

Remember  that  your  employer  is  paying  you  for 
your  time.    For  your  own  sake,  give  him  not  only  his 


102  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

money's  worth,  but  the  'kittle  bit  more"  that  shows 

your  real  interest.     Permit  no  encroachment  on  his 

time  by  your  friends  —  either  by 

ven  1      ere  isn        prolonged    or    frequent    telephone 

a  time  clock.  ^  ^  ^  .      •  .^ 

calls,  or  lengthy  or  trequent  visits. 

Be  scrupulous,  too,  in  providing  your  own  stationery 
for  personal  needs.    His  stationery  belongs  to  him. 

If  there  should  be  a  just  cause  for  complaint,  take 
your  case  to  the  proper  authority,  who  is,  usually,  your 
immediate  superior.  Gossiping  about  difficulties  to 
your  coworkers  does  more  harm  than  good. 

Keep  as  sacred  all  confidences,  whether  they  come 

to  you  in  the  course  of  business,  or  accidentally  through 

overhearing  a  personal  or  telephone 

u  your  mou  conversation.    Your  sense  of  honor 

demands  that  they  be  respected. 

It  sometimes  happens  in  the  course  of  a  busy  day, 
that  everything  seems  to  be  going  awry.  A  difficult 
situation  is  never  helped  by  losing  one's  temper.  At 
such  a  time  try  to  keep  your  poise;  you  will  find  that 
you  will  be  able  to  accompHsh  more  and  better  work. 
If  reproved  for  poor  work,  or  corrected  in  a  mistake, 
apologize  for  your  work  and  express  your  gratitude 
for  the  correction.  Give  your  promise  for  better 
results  in  the  future.  Never  sulk,  nor  try  to  excuse 
yourself,  nor  waste  time  in  long  explanations.  The 
.  point  is  that  a  mistake  has  been 

*  made   and   that   it   should   never 

happen  again.    Does  it  not  sound  much  better  to  say 


BUSINESS  MANNERS  103 

■ —  '^Oh,  I  see  I  was  wrong;  I'm  sorry.  Thank  you  for 
pointing  out  my  mistake," — than,  "Oh,  well,  that's  what 
I  meant, — you  see,  somebody  interrupted  me  while  I  was 
at  work  on  that,  but  I  knew,  of  course,  what  was  right," 
or,  "No,  I  never  would  have  done  that  if  somebody 
hadn't  butted  in,"  etc. 

If  you  are  a  stenographer,  and  your  employer  asks 
that  you  take  some  letters,  go  to  him  quickly  and 
quietly,  with  all  necessary  materials.    If  he  is  not  quite 


Dress  suitably;  don't  wear  out  your  party  dresses  at  the  office. 

ready,  sit  perfectly  still  until  he  is  ready  to  begin.  You 
will  help  him  by  refraining  from  tapping  the  floor  with 
your  foot  or  the  desk  with  your  pencil,  or  from  arranging 
your  hair  or  picking  at  your  nails,  or  doing  any  of  those 
little  things  that  tend  to  distract  the  attention. 

You  may,  sometime,  be  asked  to  report  the  proceed- 
ings of  a  committee  meeting.  Whether  or  not  the 
members  of  the  committee  are  seated  when  you  enter  the 
room,  remain  standing  until  a  place  is  indicated  for  you. 


104  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

When  new  situations  arise,  use  your  common  sense 
and  good  judgment,  not  forgetting  to  call  upon  all  your 
past  experiences  to  help  you  in  the  solution  of  them. 

No  matter  what  your  position  may  be,  the  ability 
to  work  amicably  in  a  group  is  a  decided  asset  in  busi- 
ness. A  kindly  toleration  for  the  opinions  of  others, 
and  for  ways  of  working  different  from  your  own,  will 
help  to  make  you  a  more  agreeable  coworker. 

If  you  are  a  newcomer  in  an  office,  try  to  learn  as 
much  as  you  can,  and  as  quickly  as  you  can  from  the 
trained    employees.     Do    not    be 
Lessons  aren't  over        ^^^  ^^^^^^^  ^^  ^^^  questions.     An 
when  you  get  your  •    .   u-        ^  ^'       a  j-^ 

diploma  mtelligent  question  does  you  credit ; 

and  an  attitude  of  ^^  wanting  to 
learn"  will  usually  bring  a  ready  response.  On  the 
other  hand,  do  not  ot^er  your  own  opinions  unless  asked 
for  them  —  you  are  the  learner,  not  the  teacher. 

The  time  may  come  when,  a  trained  employee 
yourself,  you  will  have  an  opportunity  to  help  one  who 
is  inexperienced.  Remembering  the  difficulties  which 
you  had  to  face  when  in  a  like  position,  try  to  give  him 
or  her  as  much  help  as  is  possible  without  neglecting 
your  own  work  in  order  to  do  it. 

You  can  further  the  interests  of  your  employer  very 
much  by  your  courteous  treatment  of  his  callers.  Attend 
to  the  wants  of  each  pleasantly,  and  as  soon  as  possible. 
If  the  one  asked  for  happens  not  to  be  in,  perhaps  you 
can  act  for  him ;  at  any  rate,  be  sure  to  ask  the  name  of 
the  caller,  and  to  inquire  if  there  is  a  possible  message. 


BUSINESS  MANNERS  105 

The  same  is  true  when  you  answer  the  telephone. 
To  tell  your  employer  when  he  comes  in  that  ''some  one 
called"    is    highly    unsatisfactory. 
There  are  certain  routine  questions    ^J^^7'  ^'  ^""^^^^f 
that   one  may   ask;  for   example,    the  telephone, 
suppose  the  telephone  rings : 

You:     This  is  Mr.  Brown  s  office. 

The  Voice:     Is  Mr.  Brown  in? 

You:  No,  he  will  not  be  in  until  four.  Is  there  any 
message? 

The  Voice:    No,  I'll  call  later. 

You:    Who  shall  I  say  called? 

The  Voice:  Tell  him,  H.  C.  Smith,  of  Harbinger 
Brothers. 

You:    Very  well,  Mr.  Smith,  I'll  tell  him. 
Or 

You:    This  is  Mr.  Brown's  office. 

The  Voice:    Is  Mr.  Brown  in? 

You:    Yes,  who  wishes  to  speak  to  him,  please? 

The  Voice:    H.  C.  Smith,  of  Harbinger  Brothers. 

You:    Just  a  minute,  Mr.  Smith;  I'll  tell  him. 

If  you  do  not  understand  the  voice  on  the  telephone, 
observe  the  same  courtesy  you  would  show  if  speaking 
directly  to  the  person.  ''Huh?"  or  "What?"  is 
always  to  be  avoided,  as  is  any  expression  of  bad  tem- 
per. "I  beg  your  pardon,"  will  bring  a  repetition 
without  ill  feeling.    Listen  attentively. 

Always  remember  that  "the  voice  with  a  smile 
wins." 


106  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 


PROBLEM 


If  you  have  had  any  business  experience,  select  the  points  in  the 
preceding  chapter  that  you  consider  especially  important  and  ex- 
plain why  they  are  important.  Can  you  add  anything  to  this 
chapter? 

Dramatize  a  correct  telephone  conversation. 


PART  FIVE 

A  LAST  WORD 


CHAPTER  XXIV 
A  Last  Word 

It  happened  in  a  little  group  of  people  that  one  of 
the  women  made  a  laughing  remark  which  was  mis- 
understood by  one  of  the  men  present.  He  turned  on 
her  angrily  and  snapped  out  a  rude  and  caustic  reply. 
What  would  you  have  done  had  you  been  in  the 
woman's  place?  If  you  had  read  this  little  book  care- 
fully and  had  worked  out  its  suggestions  in  your  every- 
day life,  you  would  probably  have  done  just  what  this 
woman  did.  She  turned  to  the  man  very  quickly  and 
said  sincerely,  ^^Oh,  Mr.  Jones,  I  did  not  mean  to  imply 
what  you  think,"  —  and  went  quietly  on  to  explain 
her  meaning.  The  man  turned  red  wdth  shame  at  his 
own  rudeness,  and  was  prompt  in  his  apology. 

The  little  group  could  not  but  admire  the  woman's 
gracious  courtesy  and  tact.  It  would  have  been  easy 
to  flare  up  and  grow  angry  at  the  rude  rejoinder  she 
had  received,  or  to  have  felt  hurt  and  perhaps  to  have 
sulked.  Either  result  would  have  created  an  embar- 
rassing situation  for  all  present.  But  through  this 
woman's  splendid  trained  control  of  herself,  the  only 
person  embarrassed  was  the  person  who  was  in  the 
wrong,  and  when  he  had  made  his  apology,  all  were  on 
friendly  terms  as  before,  and  the  httle  incident  was 
closed.    Weeks  later,  someone  spoke  to  the  woman  of 

109 


no  EVERYDAY  MANNERS 

the  fine  way  in  which  she  had  handled  the  situation. 
Tears  came  into  her  eyes  at  the  remembrance  of  the 
hurt,  for  she  was  a  very  sensitive  woman.  Yet  at  the 
time  of  the  occurrence  no  one  knew  how  she  felt.  Her 
own  personal  feelings  had  been  kept  out  of  the  way.  She 
knew  it  would  be  selfish  to  let  them  rule  her  behavior 
and  cause  discomfort  and  unhappiness  to  others.  Her 
manners  were  not  idle  forms,  but  a  real  part  of  her. 

That  is  the  kind  of  good  manners  we  want,  —  the 
kind  that  will  make  others  more  comfortable  or 
happy.  We  have  tried  in  this  book  to  put  down  the 
easiest  way  of  accomplishing  this  result  under  various 
kinds  of  circumstances.  If  we  have  omitted  some 
things,  and  you  are  puzzled  to  know  what  to  do,  you 
can  find  the  solution  easily,  if  you  will.  Put  yourself 
in  the  other  person's  place.  What  would  I  like  him 
to  do  for  me  if  I  were  in  that  situation?  The  answer 
to  that  question  will  usually  be  the  right  one.  We  have 
all  known  people  who  have  never  had  an  opportunity  to 
learn  the  customs  of  well-trained  social  groups.  They 
are  apt  to  make  what  we  call  '^  breaks,"  yet  their 
interest  in  others,  their  deference  to  their  companions, 
their  sympathy  for  and  understanding  of  those  around 
them  make  them  welcome  in  any  group.  All  the 
fine  manners  in  the  world  are  worthless  if  they  are  not 
the  expression  of  fine  character  beneath.  We  have 
given  you  here  all  we  can.  It  is  for  you  to  see  whether  or 
not  you  can  fit  this  key  to  the  lock  which  opens  the 
door  to  the  society  of  the  well-bred. 


INDEX 


INDEX 


Accidents  at  table,  10 

Appearance,  in  business,  99-100; 
at  school,  46-51 

Appreciation,  expression  of,  43; 
of  guest  for  entertainment,  35- 
36 

Assembly,  applause  in,  65;  atten- 
tion in,  66;  seating  in,  65-66; 
student  government  in,  65;  use 
of,  65 

Assistance,  to  brothers  and  sisters, 
16;  to  hostess,  35;  to  inexperi- 
enced employee,  104;  to  mother, 
15-16 

Attending,  dance,  52-54;  restau- 
rant, 91-92;  theatre,  54-55 

Books,   carrying,    71;   during  as- 
sembly, 66 
Boys,  dress  of,  45,  49,  50-51;  and 
•  girls,  52-58;  family  inspection 
of,  52 
Bread,  how  to  take,  4;  spreading,  6 
"Bread  and  butter  '  letters,  36 
Business,  manners  in,  99-106 

Caller,  time  of  leaving  for,  31 
Carefulness,  regarding  others'  pos- 
sessions,   17;    as   to   scattering 

possessions,  17 
Chairman  conducting  class,  71,  72 
Chaperon,  courtesy  to,  54 
Chewing  gum,  85,  86 
Classroom  manners,  71-74 
Cleanliness,  of  clothes  at  table,  9; 

of  hands,  9,  75;  of  person,  49- 

51;  of  underwear,  50 
Clothing,  in  business,  99-101;  in 

school,  46-51;  care  of,  47,  48, 

50,  100 
Coffee,  sugar  for,  7;  stirring,  7; 

how  to  drink,  7 


Cold,  conduct  when  one  has,  10-11 
Collars,  clean,  50 
Collisions,    in    corridors,    68;    in 
lunch  room,  75;  on  sidewalk,  87 
Confidences  in  business,  102 
Conversation,  within  groups,  41- 
42;  when  guests  are  present,  32; 
monopoly  of,  9,  24;  when  with 
older  people,  23;  at  table,  9 
Corridors,  manners  in,  68-70 
Cosmetics,  use  of,  50 
Coughing  in  assembly,  67 
Courtesy,   attentions   of  boys   to 
girls,    24;    attentions    to    older 
people,  23-24;  in  conversation 
with  older  people,  24;  to  exas- 
perating  guests,    32;   in   greet- 
ings, 14;  in  regard  to  use  of  tele- 
phone. 26-27;  to  shy  guests,  41; 
at  table,  1-13.    See  Manners 

Dance,  etiquette  of  a,  53-54 
Dancing,    in    entertainments    at 

home,  41;  manners  in,  54;  rules 

for  correct,  58 
Desk,  attitude  toward  teacher's, 

71;  use  of,  in  classroom,  71,  72 
Desserts,  proper  handling  of,  7-8 
Dishes,  in  lunch  room,  75,  76;  re- 
moval of,  between  courses,  8; 

stacking,  8 
Doors,  closing,  74;  of  stores,  93; 

opening,   for  someone,   69,   74; 

rushing  out  of,  69 
Dress,  of  boys,  45,  49,  50,  51;  of 

girls,  45,  46-48,  49,  50 
Eating,  cutting  food  when,  5;  in 

dining   car   or   restaurant,    91; 

when  to  begin,  2;  when  to  lise 

from,  11 
Elevator,    entering,    69;    waiting 

for,  69 


113 


114 


INDEX 


Entering  room,  order  in,  2,  11,  32 
Entertainment,    appreciation    of, 
35-36,  43;  of  groups,  41-44;  re- 
sponsibility of  guests  for,   42; 
responsibility  of  hostess  for,  41 

Fingernails,  50 
Fish,  how  eaten,  3-4 
Fork,  see  Knife  and  fork 

Games,  attending,  79;  losers  in, 
78;  \^inners  in,  79 

Gifts,  from  guest  to  hostess,  35; 
''paid  back,"  60;  proper,  from 
boys  to  girls,  60;  standard  in 
giving,  60;  thanks  for,  60;  to 
teachers,  59-60 

Girls  and  boys,  52-58 

Gossip,  in  business,  102;  in  street 
cars,  84-85 

Government,  student,  77 

Greetings,  at  home,  14;  in  places 
of  business,  99;  on  street,  87-88 

Guest,  being  a,  34-37;  entering 
room,  32;  entertainment  of,  31- 
33;  interest  of,  in  entertainment, 
42;  at  meals,  2;  overnight,  34; 
should  conform  to  household 
routine,  35 

Hair,  appearance  of,  in  business, 
101-102;  appearance  of,  in 
school,  49,  50 

Hands,  in  lunch  room,  75;  raising, 
in  class,  15-16;  at  table,  9 

Hostess,  at  table,  2;  care  of  over- 
night guests,  31-32;  courtesy  to 
guests,  31-33;  dress  of,  32 

Interruptions,  of  conversation  in 
business,  101;  in  classroom,  72 

Introductions,  bad  forms  of,  19; 
of  boy  to  a  girl,  19;  conduct  in, 
18-22;  omission  of,  21-22;  time 
for,  20;  to  a  group,  19;  of  young 
people  to  older  ones,  18 


Invitations,  definiteness  of,  38; 
formal,  39;  informal,  38;  over- 
staying time  set  by,  38;  from 
boys,  52,  53;  to  call  after  thea- 
tre, 55 

Jewelry  as  index  of  taste,  48-49 

Knife,  see  Knife  and  fork 

Knife  and  fork,  how  to  handle,  5; 
in  eating  fish,  3;  in  eating  salad, 
7;  in  eating  vegetables,  5 

Laughter,    at    mistakes,    73;    in 

street  cars,  84 
Lavatory,  in  school,  69;  in  station, 

90 
Lockers,  getting  wraps  from,  69 
Lunch  room,  manners  in,  75-76 

"Make-up,"  57 

Manners,  aid  those  of  others,  57; 
in  assembly,  65-67;  in  business, 
99-106;  toward  callers  in  office, 
104;  in  classroom,  71-74;  in 
corridors,  68-70;  in  the  family, 
14-17;  in  games,  78-80;  in 
lunch  room,  75-76;  with  older 
people,  23-24;  in  stations,  90- 
91;  in  stores,  93-94;  on  street, 
86-89;  at  table,  1-13;  at  the 
telephone,  20-27;  in  trolley  cars, 
83-85 

Mistakes,  attitude  toward  in  busi- 
ness, 102-103 

Music,  41 

Office,  duties  in,  77 
Officers,  attitude  toward,  77 
Olives,  4 

Perfumes,  use  of,  50 

Position  at  table,  8-9 

Presents,  from  boys  to  girls,  53 

Promptness,  in  attending  places 
of  amusement,  95;  in  attending 
assembly,  65;  in  entering  street 


INDEX 


115 


cars,  84;  inkeeping  engagements, 
53;  in  obeying  signals,  65;  of 
family  at  meals,  2;  of  guests  at 
meals,  35;  of  guests  in  replying 
to  invitations,  39 
Property,  borrowing,  28-29;  per- 
sonal and  individual,  29;  pri- 
vate, 28,  29;  regard  for  others', 
28;  return  of  borrowed,  29 

Questions,  in  class,  73;  in  office, 
104 

Radishes,  4 

Reading  at  table,  10 

Reciting  in  class,  72 

Refreshments,  as  related  to  time 
of  departure,  43;  kind  of,  40; 
relative  value  of,  in  entertain- 
ment, 40;  serving,  40 

Salad,  use  of  fork  with,  7 

Salutations,  on  street,  87-88 

Seats,  giving,  in  street  cars,  84; 
in  lunch  room,  75-76;  in  report- 
ing meeting,  103;  in  restaurant, 
91;  in  theatre,  54,  95 

Shoes,  care  of,  in  business,  100; 
for  every  day,  47,  50 

Silver,  arrangement  of,  2,  3;  indi- 
vidual silver,  2,  3,  4;  playing 
with,  8;  use  of  butter  knife,  4 

Sincerity,  in  matters  of  courtesy, 
33;  in  requesting  guests  to  en- 
tertain, 41 

Smoking,  requesting  permission 
before,  24-- 

Soup,  method  of  eating,  2-3; 
spoon,  3 

Spoon,  for  coffee,  7;  for  soup,  3; 
for  vegetables,  5 

Standards,  demanded  of  bo\^s,  52- 
57 

Stores,  manners  in,  93-94 

Street,  manners  on,  85-89 

Street  cars,  entering,  83,  84 


Student  government,   77;  in  as- 
sembly, 65 
Suggestions  to  help  others,  56-57 

Table,  leaving,  early,  11;  position 
at,  8-9;  use  of,  in  lunch  room,  75 

Table  manners,  1-13 

Tact  in  correcting  others,  73 

Talking,  in  business,  101;  in  places 
of  amusement,  95;  on  street,  87 

Teeth,  51 

Telephone,  business  calls  on,  105; 
calls  at  meal  time,  26-27;  calls 
at  night,  26-27;  courtesy  to, 
"Central,"  27;  distinctness  of 
speech  at,  27;  length  of,  call,  26; 
party  line,  26;  social  calls  on,  26 

Textbooks,  covering  of,  72 

Thanks,  in  the  family,  17;  for 
gifts,  60;  of  guest  for  entertain- 
ment, 35-36 

Thoroughness,  a  preparation  for 
the  future,  16;  satisfaction  in,  16 

Tickets,  for  amusements,  95;  for 
travel,  90 

Time  in  business,  101-102 

Toothpick,  use  of,  9,  92 

Traffic  rules,  in  classroom,  71,  74; 
in  corridors,  68-69;  in  crossing 
streets,  86;  in  store,  93-94;  on 
sidewalk,  86-87 

Underwear,  49-50 

Utilitv,  of  dress,  46-47;  of  shoes, 

47-48 

Vegetables,  how  to  serve,  4;  how 
to  eat,  5,  7 

Voice,  in  lunch  room,  76;  in  recit- 
ing, 72;  in  street  cars,  84 

Walls,  of  school  building,  70 
Wastebasket,  use  of,  in  classroom, 

72 
Waste  material,  in  school,  69;  in 

street,  89,  96;  in  theatres  and 

parks,  95-96 


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